Storybrooke Secret Santa
by theforgottenpromises
Summary: The holidays are approaching and Mary Margaret decides it's time for a new Christmas tradition. She rounds up the entire town to participate in a Secret Santa. Well, almost the entire town. A certain mayor is missing. But then her name appears on a slip. - SQ in the end
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: this is my entry for Tumblr's Secret Santa (although it can be read by anyone)**

**Dear skepticpotato,**

**Hopefully, I managed to write something you like. I didn't stay entirely true to the canon storyline, but I didn't stray very far. Also, this is the very first story I have written for the eyes of anyone other than my own, so bare with me a little. I will be putting up chapters every day until the story's complete.**

**Merry Christmas!**

**P.S. a special thank you to my sister for being my beta reader.**

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"This was the best Thanksgiving dinner I've ever had," Kathryn said as she wiped her plate clean with her last piece of turkey before leaning back contently in her chair.  
Regina smiled as she swallowed her own last bite.  
"I would almost say my own kitchen staff back in the Enchanted Forrest could've learned a thing or two from you."

"Thank you, dear. I try."

They had technically been eating leftovers from the day before, though most of yesterday's food was turned into new dishes. Regina didn't do simply reheating. Besides, cooking had always been one of her favorite activities and she figured she might as well go all out, with the holidays and all.

The Charmings had invited Henry over to join them for their celebration of the holiday, and so Regina had opted to have Thanksgiving dinner a day early so she would still be able to enjoy it with her son. To be fair, Emma had invited her to come along too, but she had simply said she appreciated the gesture and declined.

She had been on good terms with the Charmings for quite some time now, but having to suffer through an entire dinner with these two idiots might have been a little much to ask. She hadn't felt particularly welcome, anyway. The history between them would be too much to ignore at a dining table in a small loft.

Emma had tried her best to persuade her, but she hadn't budged. She had used Kathryn as an excuse, explaining how the poor woman had no one but her. Emma hadn't suggested she'd bring Kathryn along. Even though it was left unspoken, both she and Regina knew why she hadn't. Having her father's ex-wife at the table, along with his current wife, wouldn't be a sure recipe for disaster.

"So, tomorrow…" Kathryn began.  
"What about tomorrow?" Regina replied, feigning ignorance.  
"Are you participating?" She looked over curiously as she asked this.  
"I'd rather not," Regina answered curtly, not meeting her friend's eyes as she placed both her knife and fork on her empty plate to indicate her meal was over.  
"Why not?"  
"I don't have the time. It's almost Christmas, as you may recall, and there's a lot of festivities to plan and oversee. I will have to spend quite a few extra hours in the office to get everything to run smoothly."

It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the complete truth either. It was the answer she had been giving over and over for the past few days. Every time Henry had asked her to participate in the Secret Santa, she had given the same excuse. She was able to tell he wasn't buying it, but he hadn't pushed her. The same couldn't be said for the woman across from her now. Sporting an expression of disbelief not unlike Henry's, Kathryn called her out on it.

"That's a lie, and you know it. You would never leave anything to the last minute, let alone the town's Christmas preparations! I'm sure you're ten steps ahead, like you always are. Which leaves you with plenty of spare time."

"I should hire you as my campaign leader, should there ever be a new election. I'm sure you could convince the entire town of my capability as mayor."  
Kathryn let out a sigh. She should've known Regina wasn't going to tell her the real reason she wasn't participating in the town's Secret Santa, so she had to take a guess and hope the brunette would take the bait.

"You know," She started, "it might surprise you to know that not everyone in this town hates you. Combined with a little Christmas spirit, I'm sure you'd get something really nice. It's okay to participate a little. Put yourself out there, make some friends, it might be fun!"

"Or it might be catastrophic," Regina answered. "Gag gifts and insulting notes are not my definition of Christmas spirit, Kathryn. I highly doubt anyone would want to see my name on a slip of paper. I am better off not submitting. Everyone will be better off if I'm not submitting."

She tried very hard to sound like she didn't care about being excluded. It was an art she had mastered quite well over the years. She wasn't the Evil Queen anymore and she hadn't been in a very long time. It would probably be safe to say that most of the town's people were starting to believe she was a different person now as well, but tolerating and liking were two very different things. The list of people in the latter category was still very, very short.  
"Running around town to find appropriate gifts for a random person I don't care for, doesn't sound very appealing either," The brunette added, her mask of indifference back in place.

"I don't think I will be able to convince you, so I will just give you a head's up. I will be participating, I will have fun and I will rub it in your face every chance I get, making you very sorry you didn't put your name in that bowl."

"I can't wait. I hope Mary Margaret draws you."


	2. Chapter 2

The second Emma pushed open the door to the diner, she felt a hand at her elbow and she was dragged to a corner.  
"Please, tell your mom everything is under control," Ruby hissed as she spun Emma to face her. "She's been running around like a maniac for at least an hour now. You know I love her, but she's driving me insane."

It was only then that Emma had the chance to scan the rest of the space and see what Ruby was talking about. First she spotted David, seated in one of the booths playing cards with Henry, looking slightly exhausted as his eyes followed his wife who was going from place to place, rearranging cups and other things that really didn't need any rearranging. She gave a quick wave at Henry when she caught his eye, which he returned with a beaming smile. The kid had been excited for the Secret Santa for days now.

"He gave up chasing after her about half an hour ago. Smart guy, your father. And so much more patient that I would ever be too!" Ruby said as she followed the blondes line of sight.  
Emma let out a heavy sigh, already tired from a long shift at the station, as she let Ruby push her further into the diner to face her mother. With a quick "Good luck" and an quietly added "You'll need it" from Ruby, she made her way towards Mary Margaret.

"Emma, thank Gods you're here!" The woman at the counter said as she spun around at the sound of approaching footsteps. "Please make sure we have the paper and pens ready."  
"They're right there. I can see them."  
"Go make sure Ruby knows we'll be needing that coffee in about twenty minutes."  
Ruby was standing well within earshot only a few feet away, rolling her eyes. No doubt she had been reminded of that several times already. She didn't have to address the waitress anyway, because Mary Margaret didn't pause rambling long enough.  
"People will be arriving at eight, right? They will be here?"  
"Mary Ma-"  
"Are you sure you send out the reminder texts this morning?"  
"Mar-"  
"Maybe the day after Thanksgiving wasn't the greatest pl-"  
"Mom!" Emma interrupted, grabbing her startled mother firmly by the arms to make her stop talking.

"You were right there when I send out those texts, like, literally looking over my shoulder watching me press the send button." Emma kept her tone calm, in an effort to calm Mary Margaret down. "People will be arriving at eight. It's only 7:45. Everything is in order, everyone will show. Now go sit with David and Henry and breathe. Please."  
Mary Margaret seemed to relax a little but when Emma slowly released her hands, she did another attempt to straighten the already straight line of cups on the counter.  
"Go," Emma ordered, grabbing the pixie-haired woman again and giving her a push in the direction of the occupied booth.

"Oh sweet Lord, thank you," Ruby let out the second Mary Margaret was out of earshot, letting her head fall on the counter. "I don't know how much more of that stressing I could've taken. I was prepared to go get granny's crossbow. Or maybe just whack her out with one of the coffee pots. Either one would've done the trick, I guess."  
"I would've paid to see you try and get away with that," Emma snickered as she sank down on the nearest barstool.  
"What? You think I couldn't? You think I couldn't take your father? I'm sorry, have you met me?" Ruby extended a hand for Emma to shake. "Ruby Lucas, werewolf."  
Emma laughed as she swatted the hand away.

Just before eight, people began trickling in. Emma watched as Archie, Katheryn, Belle, Sidney, Hook, all seven dwarfs, Marco, Ashley and Sean, Whale, Blue and some of the other nuns or fairies or whatever they went by nowadays arrived. The dinner was quickly filling up with happy chatter and laughter.

The turn up was pretty big. There were even a few faces Emma couldn't put a name to, but no one she hadn't seen around before. She recognized a few parents from Henry's classmates, a few elderly couples and shop owners. Her mother turned out to be one hell of a party planner. It seemed like Mary Margaret could be quite convincing when it came to holiday festivities. Then again, Emma reminded herself, this town had been slumbering for such a long time, everyone was probably starved for some entertainment so they must've jumped at the idea of participating in a Secret Santa.

Watching Mary Margaret mingle with the crowd, smiling excitedly and greeting and exchanging pleasantries with everyone she crossed paths with, Emma had to admit, the big turn up didn't come as much of a surprise. Her mother was a well-liked woman in this town. With her soft and kind personality, she had managed to make everyone like her.

Well, almost everyone, the blonde corrected herself, a certain mayor was missing. She hadn't really expected the woman to show up anyway.

At eight-thirty, Mary Margaret got everyone's attention by tapping a spoon to her glass. The room fell quiet as Mary Margaret climbed onto a chair to welcome everyone and explain the rules. Everyone was to write their name on a slip of paper, fold it twice and put it the big bowl on the counter. It reminded Emma a little of that Reaping ceremony scene in the Hunger Games.  
Once all the names were submitted, everyone would get a turn to draw a name from the bowl to determine who they will be playing Secret Santa for this year. There weren't any specific rules on budget or number of gifts. Mary Margaret ended with a festive "Happy gifting" and got off the chair to write her name on the first slip.

"And may the odds be ever in your favor!"

The crowd erupted in laughter at the shouted comment from someone and Emma chuckled along. So someone else had been reminded of the Hunger Games too.

Henry appeared by her side with two slips of paper and a pen.  
"Can I draw one for you too?"  
"Wow kid, you are really into this, aren't you?"  
Henry's answering smile nearly consumed his whole face. There was only one smile, in the entire diner, bigger than his. That smile too belonged to a very close relative.  
"If there was ever any doubt, it just flew out the window. You are absolutely related to your grandma. And this crazy excitement for these kind of activities has obviously skipped a generation."  
"Ha. Ha. Can I?"  
"Sure, whatever."

Emma had been pressured into participating. The daughter of the tradition founder couldn't possibly sit this out! The horror on Mary Margaret's face when she had voiced her doubts about participating, was like none Emma had witnessed before. It was in that moment that Emma realized her mother really, really cared for this. Buying gifts for a random person in Storybrooke, and probably getting something lame in return didn't have the same appeal to Emma. How good were the odds of actually receiving something decent? How many people here knew her well enough for that? It all seemed like a lot of work and very little worth.

Her mother was hearing none of it. She just had to get into the Christmas Spirit, she had explained. Little did she know that that was easier said than done.

It wasn't like Emma was completely against the holidays. She simply hadn't grown up celebrating them much. The foster families that bothered with presents at all never cared enough to get her something she actually wanted. Second hand clothes, socks, a toy that once belonged to an older sibling, the list of useless things went on.

Holidays were all about celebrating family, and without family, there wasn't much to celebrate. She had always shrugged it off, like it was no big deal. Like she didn't yearn for the life the families on TV had. Like it wasn't the loneliest time in the year for her. Like she hadn't wished upon stars when she was little, hoping this year her real parents would show up to take her back. Don't dwell on it too much, and you'll be fine. It had worked just fine until she landed in Storybrooke.  
By then she had steered clear of the coziness and warmth of Christmas for so long, she had no idea how to steer back toward it.

She was going to find out soon enough, she thought with a sigh as put the pen to her slip of paper. Henry was already waiting to take her slip to the bowl and when she placed it in his outstretched hand, he immediately bounced off to add their names to the mix.

"Draw a good one for me!" She shouted after him, but he was already out of sight.

A few minutes later, when everyone had put their names in and the drawing was in full swing, she saw Henry push his way back toward her. She wondered if he would fall asleep with that smile tonight.  
"No, that one is mine!" Henry snatched the paper out of her hand. At Emma's surprised look he added, "I- I already read that one."

He handed her the other slip. Emma turned it over a few times. Please don't let it be Whale. Please don't let it be Whale. There were a number of names she didn't want to see on that paper, but this one certainly topped the list. She wasn't sure she would be able to buy something for the doctor. God, she couldn't stand him. The guy was convinced he was God's gift to women and he acted like it. Whenever Emma had to be at the hospital, he was always either talking her up or making inappropriate jokes. It made her skin crawl just thinking about him.

Please don't be whale. Please don't be whale.

She took a deep breath, and opened the note. Her first reaction was relief, as she immediately saw an elegant handwriting very unlike a certain doctors scribble. But then she actually read the name the beautifully even letters spelled out.

_**Regina Mills**_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N I never expected anyone to read this, let alone review! You guys have no idea how much any and all reviews are appreciated! So if you have time, I'd like to hear from you!**

To the reviewer who asked about baby Neal: he's not in this story. You'll notice a few other characters are missing as well. I strayed from canon a little bit because I couldn't fit everyone and everything into my story.

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It had been three days since she had found out who she was going to be playing Santa for. The initial shock had somewhat worn off and by now her head started to fill up with questions. Regina hadn't been there in the diner. Emma had assumed she just didn't want to participate. It would've made sense. Regina still thought the whole town hated her, though Emma knew that wasn't entirely true. How had her name ended up in that bowl? Who had put it there? There was no question that it was the mayor's handwriting. Emma had seen it often enough on files and documents, to recognize it. But she hadn't been there to put it in.

Maybe Regina had wanted to participate all along, but just didn't want the entire town to know. She must've had Kathryn draw an extra slip for her. That must be it, Emma's brain reasoned. But her gut told her something was off. Regina wasn't the kind of woman to hide. She always walked into the fire, head held high. She always had.

If she had really wanted to participate, she would've strode straight into that diner, chin up and put her name in that bowl herself. Her eyes would've shown her insecurity and doubts to anyone who bothered to look close enough, but to all others, she would've looked confident. That was how Emma would've pictured it. So this whole thing didn't sit well with Emma.

Anyhow, she had drawn Regina Mills, Mayor of Storybrooke, former Queen and mother to her son. What the hell did you give to someone who already had everything?

It didn't help much that she lived with Mary Margaret. Her mother had gotten to work the second they had arrived home from Granny's. She seemed to burst from ideas as she scribbled page after page in her notebook. David was a little less enthusiastic, but he too had gone out and got the first present the next morning. She was already two days behind and she was very much aware of the building pressure.

They all had it easy. Emma had no idea who they both had drawn, but no one could be more difficult than the Mayor of the town. She played around with the idea of getting a few gag gifts and be done with it. But something inside her was so strongly opposed to that, the thoughts were immediately banished from her head.

She wanted to get Regina something special, she had to admit to herself. She wanted Regina to FEEL special. But why? Emma wondered. Why was she putting so much time and effort into coming up with the perfect present for a woman who had literally tried to chase her out of town? Because, she reasoned, Regina hadn't really wanted to do that. Regina lashed out when she was scared. She had hid it well, but Emma had learned very early on, that those dark eyes were a window to the real Regina. Sure, her poker face was amazing. The mask she barely ever took off was almost perfect. If it weren't for those two swirling pools of emotions. They betrayed her every single time.

That's how Emma knew, Regina had been scared that Emma was planning on taking her son away, and so she did the only thing she knew how. She lashed out. The best defense was a good offence, right?

Accusations had been going back and forth. Both women were guilty for throwing a punch or two. But they had long since moved passed all that now. Waaay past that. 'My son' had become 'our son' for both of them and that was the way it should be. It wasn't even just Henry, that made Emma want to get her something nice. Over the years, Emma had found a sort of connection with the brunette that she had never been able to establish with anyone else.

She had made a few good friends in town. Her parents loved her, Emma knew that very well. Henry loved her too. But none of them actually got her. None of them had similar experiences. None of them had known betrayal and rejection like Emma had. None of them knew what it was like to be completely alone. None of them knew the pain.

But Regina, she did. She understood. They never talked about it, no, but they both knew it.

And that is why she had to come up with something good.

"Emma, honey," Mary Margaret started as she plopped down on the sofa next to her daughter. "If you need any help with your gifts, I'm right here."

"I am not telling you who I got," Emma sighed. She watched her mother's face fall a little before she covered it up with a smile.

"That's not what I'm after. I can really help you!"

That so was what she was after. She had been trying to get her to talk for three days now. She herself had been practically dropping hints all over the apartment about her own giftee. Emma hadn't bothered to pay attention though. She was sure she would only have to ask a few times before her mother would cave and tell her the name. Besides, she gave it a few more days before she would find out anyway. Either by the hints and clues or because Mary Margaret was terrible at keeping secrets. Especially when they excited her.

She would have considered accepting Snow White's help if the person she needed help with was anyone other than the Evil Queen. She was just about to wave her mother off, when someone knocked on the door.

"I'll get it," Emma said, jumping up from the couch. At first, she couldn't see who it was at the door. She couldn't see over the huge bouquet of red roses. It was only when the man lowered them that she recognized Mo French.

"Hey Mo," she greeted.  
"Emma, special delivery for you."  
"What's the occasion? Who are they from?"  
"Can't tell ya." He said with a wink, which clued her in enough.

How the guy had managed to knock with the flowers in his arms was a mystery to Emma. It was hard to even hold all of them without doing anything. She kicked the door closed behind her and deposited the flowers on the dining table. She fished the card out and read it.

**_If the rose is a symbol for beauty, then you deserve many. If the red is a symbol of passion, then we shall need plenty._**

**_Santa_**

The message made her a little uneasy. Was this 'Santa' implying anything about a shared future? She sure hoped not. A little too forward, don't you think? She wasn't one to fall for the superficial compliments on looks. And come on, "We will need plenty?", seriously?

If she had been even the slightest bit curious about who her Secret Santa was before, that curiosity just went down the drain. Whoever it was, they clearly didn't know her. She was not the kind of girl who could be swept of her feet by a cheesy note. And she was not the kind of girl to give roses to either. There was always the chance that this was a gag gift, right? A gift to throw her off a little. She wanted to believe that but something told her, that this wasn't a joke.

She had never cared for flowers. Any flowers really. She had always seen them as a waste of money. They only lasted a couple of days, they weren't even that pretty and most of them smelled bad. It was also such a common gesture to buy someone flowers, roses topping the list of corny choices, that it lost all romantic meaning to Emma. Why not just save your money and get something original? Like pizza.

"Who are they from?" Mary Margaret wanted to know, as she came to the table to take a closer look.  
"Santa, apparently." Emma handed the card over as an explanation.

"O, you're off to a good start then. Though that message is a little presumptuous. I wonder who it is. Would you like me to find you a vase? You can put them in your room."

Those were NOT going anywhere near her room. She wasn't going to wake up to the sight of them every morning, reminding her of the implications they came with. She was going to throw them out before she would let them cross the threshold to her bedroom.

Her mother bend over the bouquet and inhaled deeply. A smile automatically formed on her face and her eyes closed as she clearly reveled the smell. The sight was a good reminder of where her mother came from. Emma hadn't seen very many Disney movies growing up, but even she knew Fairytale princesses were supposed to love flowers.

"They're yours. Do what you want with them, just don't put them in my room." She went to throw the card away and when she turned back to Mary Margaret, she could see the stunned confusion on her face. "Don't worry about it. I don't like flowers and you do."

She glanced at the clock and saw she was running late. She was supposed to pick up Henry for dinner at Granny's. She quickly threw on her jacket, grabbed her car keys and phone from the counter and with a quick goodbye she was out the door.

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**I will very likely upload chapter 4 in a few hours!**


	4. Chapter 4

**It's officially Christmas Eve so MERRY CHRISTMAS!**

* * *

They talked about school projects, video games and more of the usual before the conversation turned to the Secret Santa.  
"Have you gotten anything already?" Emma wanted to know, as she stuffed another fry in her mouth.  
Henry shifted in his seat a little and took his time chewing and swallowing before he answered. "Err, no. Have you?"  
Emma narrowed her eyes at him as she sensed his discomfort, but Henry just raised his eyebrows at her. There was something he wasn't telling her. She decided to find out later.  
"Yeah, I got a bunch of roses."  
"Roses?" Henry snickered. "Who would buy you roses? Have they met you? Man, that sucks."  
"Language!" Emma tried to warn him sternly, but she couldn't stop her own chuckle from escaping her mouth before her face turn serious again. "At least they got an idea, bad as it was, and sent it. That's more than I can say for myself. I've got nothing. Zero."  
"I'm sure you'll think of something really cool."

The kid had a lot of faith in her. It must his inner Charming speaking.  
"How is your plan coming? You seemed excited enough. Have you sent anything out yet?"  
"No, but Grace and I have been working on a few things though. We just haven't finished anything yet. We're still looking for a good starter."  
"So you and Grace officially teamed up then?"  
Emma had noticed how her name seemed to be coming up more and more in conversations. They had developed quite a good friendship. It was good for him to have someone his own age to hang with.

She had taken Henry to Jefferson's quite a few times now. At first she had been a little hesitant to do so. She hadn't forgotten her first encounter with the Mad Hatter. The fact that he lived so isolated wasn't helping either. Henry had had to do a lot of convincing before she eventually caved.

The first time she drove him, she went in with him. Jefferson had been incredibly apologetic about their last encounter in the house and they had had a long talk. He turned out to be a pretty cool guy, now that he had his daughter back. If Henry's stories were anything to go by, he was a good father too.

She remained a little weary and Henry was to text every hour when he was there. After a few weeks, however, Henry started forgetting to text and Emma eventually stopped reminding him. She decided Jefferson was trustworthy.

She sometimes exchanged a few words with Jefferson when she ran into him in town every now and then when he met with customers. He had made quite the name for himself as the best tailor in town. He had made so many of those hats that he had apparently gotten pretty good with a needle and thread so it was an easy choice of career. It also allowed him to work from home, so he could be there for Grace.

Both their dinners were half gone when the door to the diner opened and Ashley stumbled in. She was balancing Alexandra on one arm, and trying to pull a stroller through the doorway with the other. Emma got up to help her when one of the stroller's wheels seemed to be caught on the doorframe.

"Thanks." Ashley smiled brightly even though she looked extremely tired. She was juggling a part time job at the local grocery store with being a fulltime mom and it was taking a toll on her. With her boyfriend Sean now working 24 hour shifts as a candidate at the Storybrooke Fire Department, things must be tough for her. She had supported Sean's decision to quit his job as a cannery worker and enroll in the Fire Academy. The Academy had put a strain on their budget, but now that he was actually working paid shifts at the firehouse his paycheck was an improvement over the factory's wages.

Building a life for yourself wasn't easy. Emma had plenty of experience with that. Working two, sometimes three jobs to pay the bills was hard. Doing it while raising a daughter must be even harder.

"No problem, Ashley. Say hi to Sean for me!" They exchanged another smile and then Ashley went over to the counter while Emma returned to her booth.

"Wow, she must be exhausted," Emma mused out loud as she watched Ashley set Alexandra on the counter.  
"How so?" Henry wondered as he too watched the young blonde.  
"She's raising a kid, while practically still being one. Since moving into her own place with Sean, bills must've been piling up a little. Kids aren't cheap. Houses aren't cheap. And between working and looking after Alexandra, I don't think they have a lot of time to themselves."  
"Time to themselves." He repeated slowly, lost in thought. "That's it!" He pulling a small notebook from his backpack to write something down.

"So, you drew Ashley?" It wasn't very much a question as it was a statement. Henry's ears turned red as he realized what he had just revealed. There was no denying it now. She knew when he was lying anyway. He just nodded.  
"And what's 'it' then?"  
"Time for themselves. Maybe I can make them have some time alone together." His eyes grew distant as a plan was forming in his mind. "Grace can be the babysitter! That's it!"

Emma nodded along. It made her heart feel a little bigger to watch Henry get this excited. She had loved watching him speculate when they were still on Operation Cobra a lifetime ago, and it hadn't lost any of its charm since.  
"But then what are they going to do? I mean, I don't have a lot of money and you just said that they don't either."  
They both thought about that while they finished their burgers.

Ruby came to collect their empty plates and the sight of her triggered an idea in Emma's mind.

"Hey Rubes? What do you do with the left overs at the end of the day?"

Ruby seemed surprised at the random question, but she halted the stacking of the plates to answer anyway.  
"The stuff that's still good the day after, like bagels, bread, fruit and vegetables usually goes to the convent. They make food baskets for the less fortunate in town. We can't sell old pastries, but it's still plenty good. The food we've already prepared, is usually just thrown out. We keep some in the fridge for our own dinners, but there's always something that lands in the trashcan. There's no way to tell how many people are going to order like, beef stew or something, on any day and because it takes hours to cook, Granny has to make a lot and just hope enough people will order it. Sometimes we throw away half a pot at the end of the day and sometimes we run out of one thing or another before it's even dinner time. That's the business."

Emma nodded along. She had waited enough tables in her life to know how big kitchens worked. She knew things got thrown out. That wasn't the reason she asked. Henry quickly caught onto her and he took over the conversation explaining how he wanted to give Ashley a night out but had no money to do so.

Ruby, as Ashley's closest friend, was more than happy to help out. She agreed to have them come to the diner after closing and to serve them one of the leftover dishes.

Henry was over the moon as he called Grace with the good news and the mood rubbed off on Emma. With new resolve, it was time to think of her own presents.


	5. Chapter 5

**I hope you like where this story is going!  
**

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It was only four in the afternoon on Tuesday and Regina already had a raging headache. She may have laid down the groundwork for all the festivities ages ago, apparently the committee she appointed was less than capable of following basic instructions.

All this on top of all the end-of-the-year files she had to get through, was just a little much for her right now. She put her fingers to her temples to make slow circles. It did little to help the pounding in her brain.

"Madam Mayor?" A skinny brunette popped her head around the door after knocking softly. She had her hair in a neat bun and was wearing a soft yellow dress. She was a little awkward, but she was nice and more importantly, she was very good at her job.  
Regina didn't speak. She just opened her eyes to meet her secretary's large, blue ones and waited.

"This was dropped off for you." She entered a little hesitantly. There was a Styrofoam cup with the Storybrooke Coffee &amp; Co logo in her hands.

"I don't remember asking for anything?" Regina questioned.  
"It's got your name on it. So I suppose someone asked it for you," her secretary said in her English accent.

"Just leave it on the desk Miss Porter, thank you."

She eyed the cup suspiciously before she reached out to turn it a little so the writing was facing her. 

**_NOT POISON_**

Regina huffed at the words and lifted the cup to throw it out. Then she noticed the smaller writing on the bottom.

**_I PROMISE_**

She brought the cup to her nose to smell it. It sure smelled like coffee, and despite herself she found she could really use a some caffeine by now. She took a tentative sip and was immediately surprised by the taste of something all too familiar. Someone had gotten her order exactly right. Her secretary was the only one she had ever sent on a coffee run and she was apparently not the one who had gotten it this time. Who could this be from?

She took another sip and let the liquid heaven fill her with warmth. She let out a happy sigh and let her eyes drift closed to savor the taste. This had been exactly what she needed. After she had downed half the cup, she slowly felt the pounding in her head ease a little.

When she locked the door to her office two hours later to finally go home, she stopped at her secretary's desk for a brief moment.

"Who brought that cup this afternoon? It didn't just appear, did it?" She hadn't quite been able to let it go. No one ever got her something spontaneously. She was the mayor, not an idol.

Jane looked up from her computer. "Of course not, Madam Mayor. A little boy dropped it off. I didn't know him. I asked him who it was from, but he just shrugged and ran out."

"Strange," Regina muttered. "Well, I'm going home, I suggest you do the same, Miss Porter." I'm sure that primate of a boyfriend doesn't know how to work a stove, she added in her mind. How this cultured young woman could've fallen for a primal man like him, she didn't have the slightest clue.

She had noticed how her secretary's eyes lit up when she mentioned him. They must have a very special bond. Jane kept insisting that although they weren't exactly the same, they connected. Opposites did attract, apparently. _  
_  
The coffee arrived again in the afternoon the day after, and this time Jane had had the good sense to send the boy in himself. Regina had tried to get some information out of him, but he had shrugged at everything. When she had dismissed him, he darted out the door. It was more than a little strange.

_**EVERYONE CAN USE A BOOST SOMETIMES. PREFERABLY A CAFEINE BOOST**_

She smiled at the text on the cup and took a grateful sip. A boost sounded like just the thing she craved. Today hadn't been much easier than the day before and she knew it would probably be like this all the way up to Christmas. There were so many loose ends to tie up before the new year. It was all business at the office at the end of each year. Budget meetings, endless piles of documents to sign off on, numerous files to finish up and file away. It was exhausting.

When Friday finally came, it had been a long time since Regina had been this excited for the weekend. If only to leave her work be for two days.

She could've expected the fourth delivery, but she was still just as stunned as the first time she was handed a cup. Someone has been going out of their way to do this for her. She had questioned Henry over dinner after the first arrival, but he had genuinely seemed surprised at her question. Who else could it be? And maybe even more importantly, why?

There was only the weekly council meeting to get through. Just as she stepped out of her office to make her way to the conference room, Jane had handed her a Styrofoam cup with a familiar logo. She was smiling. She had obviously read the cup too.__

  
**_SO MANY IDIOTS TO DEAL WITH TODAY. AT LEAST THE COFFEE ISN'T HALF BAD._**

She laughed at the accuracy of today's text. Did this person know she had her weekly council meeting today, or were they just assuming she always had a lot of idiots to deal with? The latter was also true, of course. She decided to take the cup with her into the meeting.

Yesterday's message had read **_JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU STAY AWAKE_** and the delivery had arrived in the middle of a meeting with an accountant. Going over list after list of expenses and other numbers was taking its toll on her energy level. The coffee was well received.

She had had to pour the drink into a different cup, because the accountant might get offended by the text, but that hadn't stopped her from cradling the warmth in her hands gratefully. It may have been to sole reason she had gotten through that meeting.

* * *

The worst thing about being a Sheriff was having to attend the weekly council meetings. Paperwork came in a close second, but at least with that, Emma saw the purpose.

These meetings were nothing but a waste of time. They were intended to reflect on their week, to share new information and to discuss urgent town matters. In reality, it was just a long ass meeting, where a few old men who used to be kings went on and on about things they thought were relevant, but really weren't. They mostly just loved hearing their own voices and feeling important.

Regina was always quick to interject when the discussion started drifting to irrelevant subjects, but it was hard to tell former royalty what to do. Emma had to admit, Regina was pretty skilled at leading the meetings. Without her, they would probably go well into the night instead of being rounded up at five-thirty sharp every week.

On the rare occasions that Regina let her professional mask slip for a second or two, Emma could clearly see she wasn't the only one bored out of her skull. Not that she was watching Regina the whole time, of course. Okay, maybe she was, if she wasn't playing games on her phone. In her defense, there wasn't much else to do. And there were worse things to look at.

This Friday was no different. She had managed to drag herself to town hall just in time and was one of the last to take their seat at the conference table. Something was off, Emma noticed as she looked around the table. The mayor was missing. It was the first time that she had managed to beat Regina to a council meeting. Somehow this accomplishment brought Emma a little joy. She was still smiling triumphantly when Regina entered the room, carrying a stack of files.

She walked straight to her place at the head of the table, emptying her arms on the smooth hardwood before gracefully taking her seat. Emma immediately noticed the cup. She spotted the written message on the side, and as she did, a well-manicured hand came up to turn the cup just enough for the letters to disappear from sight.

She looked up and looked straight into Regina's eyes. Regina lifted an eyebrow, as if to challenge her to say something. Emma just grinned, which seemed to throw the woman off a little. She collected herself before anyone could notice, and welcomed everyone to the meeting.

Emma didn't need to see the message on the cup to know what it said. She was the one who came up with it after all. Up until this point, she didn't know whether the coffee deliveries even made it into the Mayor's office. But now, seeing the faintest hint of a smile every time Regina took a small sip, she could finally declare her first Secret Santa gift a success.


	6. Chapter 6

On Sunday morning, Emma was startled awake by a loud thumping downstairs. At first, she thought something must've fallen over, but a few thumps later, she recognized the sound as someone jumping up and down. Why on earth would anyone in their right minds jump around a loft on a Sunday morning?

With a frustrated groan, she threw the covers off. She had intended to sleep in today, but now that her heartrate was through the roof from the heart attack the sound had caused her, there was no way she was going to fall back asleep. She might as well get up and go for a run.  
She was halfway down the stairs when she heard her mother squealing. She found Mary Margaret at the kitchen counter with wrapping paper in both hands. Apparently her first gift was better than Emma's had been. The arrival of a present would explain the jumping that still had her heart racing.

"It's a birdhouse! I got a birdhouse! Look how beautiful it is." Mary Margaret clapped, not caring that she was still holding the paper.  
"Wow, amazing," Emma drawled. "Too bad you don't have a garden." The sarcasm was either ignored or not picked up by her mother. Both options equally plausible.

"O I don't need one, look!" The paper was discarded and Mary Margaret reached out and turned the wooden little house around, revealing two hooks. "It's supposed to hang from your windowsill!"

Her mother was easy to please, Emma thought. The birdhouse was a beautiful piece of work, no question. There were decorations carved into both sides and front and the little roof was covered in tree bark. But going all nuts over it, was maybe something only Snow White would do.

Emma was happy for her though. She would've felt really bad if Mary Margaret's Secret Santa turned out to be a slacker. With all the care she put in her own gifting, it was only fair she got something nice in return.

"I better get my own giftee his present!"  
"So it's a guy then?" An amused look played across Emma's face at the revelation while she watched a red-faced Mary Margaret clamp a hand over her mouth. She loved teasing her mother.

"Good to know," David said grinning like a little boy, as he walked out from behind the curtain that closed off their bedroom-area. He shot a quick wink to his daughter.

Mary Margaret's eyes got even wider, her face a deeper shade of crimson, at the sound of his voice. Emma chuckled, teasing her mother was even funnier on the rare occasions her dad played along.

-

It was Monday evening, and as usual, Emma and Henry vacated their usual booth at Granny's dinner. There were a little more than 2 weeks left before Christmas, and the diner was already decorated warmly. Holly garland and Christmas lights decked the walls and there was spray-on snow on the windows.

Henry chatted away about how they had had a fire drill at school today. He complained about how cold it was and that they hadn't been allowed to take their jackets.

"If the building is really engulfed in flames, you wouldn't take your coat either," Emma said wisely. "You'd run like hell."

"Yeah well, if the building was really on fire I might just hurl myself through the nearest window. We didn't get to practice that either. So much for re-enacting a real evacuation. Might as well give us our coats." He was beginning to show his other mother's sarcasm more and more. Emma suppressed a grin as she nodded her agreement.

"Anyway," Henry continued, his face assuming a conspiratorial look. "Sean was there, so I know for a fact that he will be off the next two days. One day on, two days off right? That's how firemen shifts work? I did some research. Grace is up for a night of babysitting tomorrow and her dad said it was okay. I just gotta talk to Ruby to confirm it."

No wonder Henry liked his operations and secret missions so much. He didn't just get completely involved, he was really good at it too. It was like his brain was always busy looking for ways to get where he wanted to be. Always alert, nothing escaped him. If only Emma was as successful as her son.

"So anyways, it's been 10 days. Please tell me you got started too?"

"I did, actually!" Emma was quite proud of herself for that. Her palm hit the table as she said it, to emphasize her content. It had taken her a long time to come up with her first gift. She had been wrecking her brain for any clues as to Regina's hobbies when a certain memory had suddenly popped into her mind.

The two of them had gone for coffee once a few months ago. They had just returned from Neverland. Both had still been on an emotional high from having their son back safe and sound. They had also grown closer on that island. Maybe it was just because they had been forced to spend so much time together, or maybe it was because they had bonded over Henry. Emma didn't know.

Regina had asked Emma to join her for a coffee that day. They had to discuss how they were going to divide their time with Henry in a way that worked for all three of them. Emma had been dreading this conversation for a very long time, but she also knew it was long overdue.

She had always feared that Regina still wanted to push her out of his life. Little did she know that Regina had been terrified of Emma doing the very same thing.

The conversation had gone very smoothly, agreeing to let Henry choose most of the time, but with a few things set by them. Like Emma's Monday dinners at Granny's, for example. Because the loft was pretty crowded as it was, they also agreed that Henry would spend most of the nights in his own bedroom at the mansion. It didn't bother Emma, and it seemed to calm Regina a little.

Although it was business that landed them at Storybrooke Coffee &amp; Co, it had been pleasure that had kept them there. Their conversation had surprisingly easily flowed from discussing week schedules to sharing stories mostly about Henry's childhood. Of course, Emma had little to contribute, but she was more than happy just listening to Regina. She soaked up every detail Regina was willing to give her.

It was the first time Emma had heard the brunette talk about her son. She had watched in amazement as Regina's features softened and her eyes grew distant while she remembered. It was one of the only times the blonde had seen the woman behind the mask.

At first, Emma had wanted to push the random memory out of her mind again. She was trying to think of a present, not reminiscing for god's sake. It only seemed to increase the need for a good present. It Was this her brain reminding her what an amazing person was hiding behind Regina's indifferent mask? Thanks brain, Emma thought. I really didn't need any reminding. What I need is an idea for a present.

But then she didn't just remember the good time they had shared. She also remembered Regina's coffee order. It only stuck in her mind because it was crazy complicated and unusual. Emma had chuckled at the realization that that exact description suited Regina herself just as well as her coffee order.

So that's how she had come up with phase one of her Secret Santa mission. Wow, she spent so much with Henry that she started referring to her own activities as 'missions'.

She had put quite a bit of care in the whole coffee delivery thing. She had caught one of the Lost Boy vandalizing a park bench a week ago, and instead of putting it on his record, she had offered him a deal. If he would do daily coffee runs for her until Christmas break, he wouldn't have to do any actual community service to pay for that bench.

The boy had readily agreed, of course. Emma would've done the same. Anything to get out of community service. Unfortunately, she hadn't been lucky enough to be offered a similar deal when she was a kid. She had spent plenty of hours picking up trash, serving the homeless and painting community centers.

It had been a bit of a gamble to give some random kid a few dollars and a coffee order every day. She couldn't really check if he did what she was asked. She had only found out the coffees had been delivered properly last Friday.

Emma was so caught up in her own thoughts, she almost missed Henry's next words.

"So it HAD been you. I knew it."

They were murmured quietly, obviously not meant to be heard.

"woah woah, rewind there." Emma help up a finger, turning it in slow circles as if literally trying to turn back time.  
"What do you mean you knew?"

"Nothing, never mind."

"Yeah, not gonna happen kid. You've been hiding something for over a week now. Out with it. And you better tell the truth, you know I can tell if you don't."

They stared each other down for a moment. Henry contemplating whether or not he should try to lie, Emma just patiently waiting for him to cave. And he did. With a sigh he gave the smallest explanation. Just a sliver of the whole truth.

"I knew you drew my mom."

"You looked at my slip before you handed it to me? Did you draw her yourself and then give her to me because you didn't want her?"  
She was only halfway through her speculation when she noticed she was way off. Henry's face was like an open book, sometimes.

"Not exactly. I may have technically never actually drawn her name? Because it was never actually in that bowl?"

Okay, what was happening? If Regina's name had never been in that bowl, then how did she end up with that elegantly written slip? What was her son trying to say? Emma remained quiet. Maybe it would all make sense once he got the whole story out. Her silence coaxed him to continue.

"I thought it would be nice for mom to receive something nice too. She seems so lonely sometimes. I had been trying to get her to participate on her own, but she made it very clear that she wasn't going to. So I had to do it myself."

The way Henry cared for his mother made Emma's heart swell a little. She could see how this would look like a great idea in the kid's mind. It had worked, hadn't it? There were just a few things she didn't understand.

"How did you… I mean, it was her handwriting. How did you pull that off?"

"I cut it out from a parent-teacher conference attendance slip. I knew it would never work if you'd see my handwriting. Which reminds me, I never actually turned that in. Because, you know, I cut it up."

"There weren't any names left in the bowl when everyone had drawn one. How come? If you added a name, and that person didn't take one out, there should've been one left."

"I didn't put my name in."

That really hit home for Emma. Henry had sacrificed his own Secret Santa experience to give his mother one. He had traded his joy for hers. Henry, who had been excited about the Secret Santa for at least a month, had not put his name in that bowl. Talk about Christmas Spirit. There was one more question nagging at her.

"Why me? You said you never put her name in the bowl. Which means you had planned for me to get it. Why?"

"Because you care about her." 


	7. Chapter 7

**Just a fair warning: This story isn't kind to Captain Hook. At. All.**  
**He will only appear/be mentioned in a few chapters but it won't be positive. Sorry if that offends anyone!**

* * *

Emma dropped Henry off back at the mansion after dinner. She was still replaying the conversation they had in her mind, so she decided to take the long route home. Driving had always eased her mind a little. Especially in the dark with little to no other cars around.

She was glad she started off with something small like coffee. Regina didn't even know she was participating in the Secret Santa. How would Regina handle getting a real gift? Good thing Emma didn't go all out on the first gift. It would sure have ended up on fire or something.

She could just take the easy way out and stop now. Regina wasn't expecting anything, so she could just quit. But the truth was, she couldn't. Quitting was not an option. It had never been an option, if she was completely honest.

Now that Henry revealed how he had orchestrated the whole thing, her son served as an extra motivation to get it right. Henry trusted her. He believed in her. He thought she could do it. She had to try. She couldn't let him down. And she wasn't going to let Regina down.

Having everything out in the open between her and Henry, was good. She might be able to work that to her advantage. "Having someone on the inside." The kid would probably call it. It was an advantage she was probably going to need.

Her mind was no longer racing when she finally pulled up to the apartment building. Tomorrow, she vowed, she was going to come up with a second gift. Tonight, she was going to not think about the Secret Santa, take a hot shower and maybe help her mother some more with the Christmas cards she was making.  
Mary Margaret spent about a month every year making her own Christmas cards for about the entire town. Emma didn't understand why she put so much effort in a card everyone was going to throw out anyway, but the simple task of cutting snowflakes and other figures from paper was actually pretty relaxing. No need to use your brain, just cut along the lines Mary Margaret already drew.

That might actually be the exact reason she did it. Not because of the result, but because of the process. The more Emma thought of it, the more plausible it seemed. If anyone loved sprinkling glitter, drawing mythical creatures and writing cheesy notes, it sure was her mother. There was no way she's passing on an opportunity to go all out.

Emma was already mentally planning out her shower routine, complete with the color of her fuzzy socks and the brand of sweatpants she was going to wear when she walked into the apartment.

The whole dining table was littered with vials of glitter in every color imaginable, stacks of cardstock, scissors, glue and some other items from Mary Margaret's extensive craft supply. Due to lack of space on the table's surface, David was standing at the counter, fawning over a toolbox Emma had never seen before.

"Emma! You owe me 10 bucks. My Secret Santa wasn't a bust after all. This incredible toolbox just came in this afternoon."  
Emma grumbled as she dug up the money from her pocket and slammed it on the counter. She had been so sure David's Secret Santa would be a no show. It should've been easy money.

"See? A little faith can get you places." That was her father alright. "Faith" was everything in the Charming household. Another way Emma didn't really fit in. She had lost her faith a long time ago. When she was little, she had been filled with it, hoping against hope for miracles to occur. But in the end, it had been too hard to remain hopeful when year after year you were being rejected, sent back and left to fend for your own. After a while she had stopped believing in others. She had stopped expecting anything, that way she wouldn't be disappointed. It was what had kept her alive. How many more disappointments would she have been able to take? She had never cared to find out. No, instead, she started relying on herself and on plain and simple facts. Don't believe what people say, believe in their actions.

She really needed that long shower now. No such luck. Her mother came barging in. One hand clutching a sheet of stickers she had no doubt just went out to get somewhere, and the other was carrying a gift bag from the local liquor store.

"Well, that's an interesting combination," Emma commented. "I can't wait to see the creations you make when you're drunk. I was going to call it a night early tonight, but I think I might just stay up to witness this."

At first it seemed as if Mary Margaret didn't understand what Emma was getting at. But then her eyes followed Emma's to her hands and she remembered the gift bag in her hand.

"Oh, o no no,." She shook her head. "I ran into the delivery man outside. He was on his way up. This is yours!" Would Mary Margaret ever not be excited about this Secret Santa thing? Emma wondered.  
She reached for the bag. Maybe this was a present that she would actually like. She was more of a beer kind of person, but a bottle of wine every now and then was much appreciated as well.

This morning she had spent hours trying to talk a drunk Leroy down from the transmission tower he had climbed up on. Her afternoon was spent patrolling, breaking up a fight between the Lost Boys and some other teenage thugs and a lot of filing paperwork. After a tiring shift like that and the dinner she just had, she was absolutely in the mood for some alcohol.

She stuck her hand in the bag, immediately feeling the cool glass of a bottleneck. She wrapped her fingers around it pulled it out. Her hopes instantly fell at the sight of the bottle. It wasn't wine. It wasn't even something stronger but still nice like tequila.

Rum, that's what it was. A plain old bottle of rum. Not even the coconut flavored version, that Emma would maybe consider drinking if she was left with no other options. This wasn't even in her top 10. In fact, it wasn't even on the list of acceptable drinks. She had never voluntarily drunk rum and she wasn't about to start now.

The taste always reminded her of nail polish for some reason. The way the strong smell attacked your nostrils in a very unpleasant way, was exactly the way rum tasted. No one smelled nail polish for fun. And no one drank rum for fun. Well, except if you live on a pirate ship, obviously. She added that last part with a mental snicker.

It took way too long for the penny to drop after that last thought. A pirate ship. A pirate. O. My God. She set the bottle down on the kitchen counter so she had her hands free to turn the gift bag upside down. A small note fluttered to the ground. As soon as it landed, she bent to snatch it off the floor.

_**Sometimes all you need is a little help to loosen up. The best memories aren't made sober. Bottom's up!**_

_**Merry (Yo) ho ho and a bottle of rum**_

She couldn't stop her hand from balling into a fist, crumbling the note. Rum. Inappropriate notes. Roses. O man. Killian Jones, Captain Hook, it was him. It must be. Suddenly it made sense what Leroy had yelled at her that morning when she was putting cuffs on him.

"I'm glad I traded with the pirate for booze. I wasn't going to be in the mood to play happy Santa for you after this."

She had just written it off as drunken rambling at the time, not even paying much attention to the words. But now, it became significant. They say drunken words are sober thoughts right? Sure, it was usually said about a very different kind of words, but it was still true.

With a town full of fairytale characters, there was an astonishingly low amount of fate involved in this Secret Santa thing. Her own slip had been manipulated into her hand. And Hook had taken matters into his own hands, or well… hand, as well. If she had heard right, he had traded Leroy some alcohol for his slip.

However it had gone down, she was stuck with him now.

Yo ho freaking ho.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you, once again, to everyone still with me! Thank you for the follows, favorites and especially the reviews! I love reading everyone's opinions!**

* * *

It was Friday evening. Emma hadn't thought much about what to write before she sat down with her laptop to type out her letter to Regina. She had gone over to the stables to ask Fredrick about the possibilities of someone taking care of a horse for a few days. He had happily agreed. Even when he heard who she was asking this for, his smile hadn't faltered. All the more proof Regina wasn't hated anymore.

Once she placed her fingers on the keyboard, the words seem to flow naturally from her hands. She typed and typed, not second guessing anything, not pausing or backspacing. She hadn't realized how much she had actually written until she took her fingers from the keyboard after writing a holiday greeting on the bottom of the letter.

When she reread her own words, some took her by surprise. She had never dwindled much on trying to define what Regina meant to her. She had never thought much further than acknowledging that there was a connection between them. Now, seeing it on screen, it turned out she really wanted Regina to find her happiness. She already knew she wanted that, but now she knew she REALLY wanted that.

After this afternoon's weekly council meeting, she had hung back a little, waiting for Regina to gather up her files, before following her back to the Mayor's office. The holidays were rapidly approaching and they hadn't talked about what do to with Henry yet. With a little less than two weeks until Christmas, it was time to bring it up.

The conversation had gone smoothly. Everything between them seemed to go like that more and more. Of course the occasional insult had been thrown back and forth, but they had been lacking any true menace for quite a while now.

It was quickly decided. On Christmas Eve was the big Secret Santa reveal, so naturally Henry would be at Granny's for that. Emma would drive him back to the mansion after that so he could wake up in his own bed on Christmas day, which he would spend with Regina. The day after that he would be staying over at the loft.

It was only fair for Regina to get him for Christmas, Emma had had him for Thanksgiving after all. That wasn't the entire reason why Emma hadn't fought Regina on the suggestion though. She couldn't have Regina be alone on Christmas day.

After everything was settled, Regina had shuffled from one foot to the other a bit before asking if Emma maybe wanted to have a drink. She herself had been yearning for one, to soothe the stress-induced headache she had. Emma had eagerly agreed, needing a drink too after that meeting.

They had sat on the sofa of Regina's office, talking about nothing in particular. Both of them just enjoying each other's company. Somewhere over the past few months, they had begun seeking each other out like this. When and why were still a little unclear, but neither woman cared much.

Sitting at her laptop recalling this afternoon's conversation, Emma understood that Henry had been right. She did care about Regina. It practically oozed from the words on screen. And yet, she didn't edit a single word. If she was going to do this, she might as well do it right.

She hooked up the printer, printed the letter, sealed the envelope and went on a late night mail delivery before she changed her mind.

* * *

"I am so glad I entered the Secret Santa! When I got home last Wednesday after that excruciatingly long day at work, there was a bottle of wine, microwave buttered popcorn and the first two seasons of The Good Wife on my doorstep!" Kathryn's eyes were wide as if she still had a hard time believing her luck. "I honestly didn't even care anymore that Santa made me wait 12 days for the first gift. You know how Legal Drama shows are my guilty pleasure."

"That I do," Regina replied absentmindedly as she pushed the shopping cart into the next isle.

"And so does Santa! Are you even listening to me?"

"Yes." Regina said while reading the label on a box of cereal. She summed up her friend's words in a monotonous voice. "Wednesday. Long day. The Good Wife. Long awaited gift. Guilty pleasure."

"I warned you I was going to rub my joy in your face. I warned you," Kathryn sang while checking her own grocery list and then loaded a few packs of coffee into her cart. "It would be a lot more fun if you were actually listening. Perhaps now would be a good time to tell me where your mind is at?"

Regina attempted to keep up the grocery shopping but when she grabbed the handle of her cart to move toward the next isle, Kathryn's hand was on her arm.

"Regina?" She prodded gently.

Her friend was right. Her mind had been occupied since this morning. She had woken same time she always did on Saturdays, then she had gone about her normal routine. But as she emptied her mailbox, she had noticed a letter. There had been no return address and no stamp, just her name.

The shock of receiving a letter was nothing compared to the shock of finding out what was in the letter. She hadn't been able to take her mind off of it ever since. After reading the letter over and over at least fifteen times, she had replaced it into its envelope and put it in her purse. Maybe she would show it to her best friend. Maybe she wouldn't.

"Regina?" Kathryn repeated, squeezing her arm a little, snapping her back to the present. Regina's eyes found Kathryn's.

"Nothing in particular. It's just been a busy week."

Coward, Regina scolded herself. Why couldn't she just pull out the letter and have Kathryn read it? She opted to reveal something else instead. If only to make the judgmental voice in her head shut up.

"I have been receiving coffee deliveries at the office for two weeks now." Kathryn's hand was no longer gripping her arm, so she was able to move on to the next isle. Kathryn didn't say anything. Sometimes silence was the best way to get someone to continue talking.

"I have no idea who is sending them," Regina continued, reaching out to get a carton of milk from the shelf. The coffees had been showing up daily for two weeks now. Two weeks, and she was still no closer to who was sending them. It was the same boy, same exact order, different message scrawled across the cup every day. She even found herself looking forward to the warm cup of delight on some afternoons. But she was also very much aware that this couldn't last forever.

"What do you mean, you don't know? You sure it isn't just Jane?"

Regina raised an eyebrow at her friend. "Are you suggesting I wouldn't know if my own secretary is getting me coffee?"

"I'm just trying to help you solve this mystery," Kathryn shrugged. "Is it like, stalker-ish? O my God, is it decaf?" Face scrunched up at the mere thought of coffee without caffeine.

"No, I don't think it is a prank. Who would go through the trouble of getting my order exactly right, and writing nice little lines on the cup, just to play a prank on me?" Regina reasoned.

"They wrote messages on them?" Kathryn exclaimed, surprise evident in her voice. "What did they say?"

Regina recounted a few of them. She also explained how the deliveries were done by a boy she didn't know, and who wouldn't say anything. She mentioned the usual times and everything else she knew. Kathryn listened, absorbing every word.

"It sounds like someone is going out of their way to do something nice for the mayor," Kathryn concluded when Regina finished her story. She waggled her eyebrows, and earned an elbow to the ribs from the brunette. "No, but seriously. I think someone wants to make you smile. I think it's nice, Regina. You certainly deserve to smile a little more. Just enjoy it while it lasts! Let it happen."

Kathryn didn't seem to find the whole ordeal the slightest bit unnerving. If she was waggling her eyebrows at coffee, imagine what she would do if Regina showed her the letter. There was no way Regina was going to pull it out of her purse now. She will figure out what to do with that on her own.

Coward, the voice in her head said again. So much for opening up. So much for friendship. Better luck next time, she countered. She had already shared more with Kathryn than she had ever done with any other person.

They both gathered the remaining items off their shopping list and after paying, they said goodbye at their cars and each went their own ways. Normally, after their weekly shopping dates, Regina would head straight home to put away the groceries but today she felt like taking a walk first. She had been trying to keep her head from filling with too much thoughts all morning. It was time to just let her mind wander in any direction it wanted to go. She predicted that direction would be toward the envelope in her purse.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N I'm sorry the waiting has been just a little longer with this one. I forgot to post this morning. At least this chapter is a little longer than usual! Next chapter will be up today as well. Maybe I'll post another after that one?**

* * *

Now that it was mid-December, the temperatures had dropped and the park was quiet. There were only a few people scattered about, walking dogs or just taking a short cut home. It suited Regina just fine. The less eyes on her, the better.

She wandered through the park slowly, so lost in thought she didn't pay much attention to where she was going. Soon, she had walked all trails the small area had to offer, and she ended up on a park bench overlooking the pond. She wasn't quite ready to go home yet.

Ducks paddled by in the freezing water, making the water ripple behind them. She stared the water, following the ripples until they smoothed out on the surface. And then she pulled out the envelope, to read the words one more time.

_Dear Regina,_

_The holidays are rapidly approaching, which you don't need any reminding of. The lights strung between the trees in town are absolutely beautiful and the Christmas tree in front of Town Hall is a real piece of art. I know there's a committee that handles the town's decorations, but I also know they could never have done that without you. So thank you, for brightening the town._

_Now as I walked down the streets, I wonder if anyone has ever thanked you for everything you do. And would you accept their appreciation if they did? Because you should, Regina. You should. You don't always have to wave off the good you do, just because you think it will never be good enough to others, because it is._

_You do anything and everything for this town, and you do even more for the lucky few you care about. But when was the last time you did something for you? I know you yourself might not be very high on the list of people you truly care about, and I still wonder why that is._

_The only explanation I can come up with, is that you don't see yourself the way you are. Do you let your mask down when you look in the mirror? And if you wanted to, would you still know how? Because I've seen glimpses of that woman behind the mask, Regina, and I have no idea why you are hiding her. Anyone who would be foolish enough to reject that person, isn't worthy of her presence anyway._

_Sometimes, it's hard to remember who you are, when you've lived as someone else for so long. I know that like no other. If you are called one thing or another often enough, you'll start to believe it. Whether it is others calling you things, or it's your own voice you hear. You start to become it. But you can't let that happen._

_Don't believe the voices telling you you can't be happy. Because you can. Don't believe the voices telling you you're dark. Because I've seen the light inside of you, shining through the cracks of the walls you put up._

_You may tell yourself you're heartless. But you can't possibly believe that. You have a bigger heart that many, Regina. Even if you locked it up in a cage, it's still there._

_It's time, Regina. It's time to do something just for you. Everyone deserves a little warmth during the holidays, even you. Especially you._

_And sometimes, you just need a little push in the right direction of where to look._  
_The horses in the stables just outside town, are always eager to have someone saddle them up and take them out for a while. Just know that you would always be welcome to do so. Philip, the guy who owns the stables, won't be surprised if you were to show up. He might even has a special horse waiting._

_If you are up for it, please go. Find that light. Do something for yourself. You deserve it._

_Merry Christmas_

Okay, maybe she read it a few times more than once. She was forced to stop reading after the fourth time, because her eyes had watered to a point where she couldn't make out the words anymore. How could this stupid letter be able to bring tears to her eyes? How could she let these stupid words get to her like that?

And what about the offer to pay the stables a visit? It was no secret that she had always loved horses. She had always loved riding. It gave her a sense of freedom very little other things ever had. Feeling a horse relax under your touch as you gently stroke a brush over its short hair, wasn't just relaxing for the horse. She had spent hours in the stables when she was young. Taking care of the horses, brushing them and whispering to them. It soothed both her and the animal.

And then her parents hired Daniel and she found a completely different reason to be at the stables all the time. She loved their conversations. She loved just watching him work. She loved riding alongside him. She loved his special way of talking to the animals. She loved his gentle ways. She loved him.

But, like most things in her life, it didn't last. She had never set foot in a stable after that night. That horrible night where she had watched her mother rip his heart from his chest and turn it to dust right before her eyes. She had held his lifeless body for hours, sobbing uncontrollably. She had held him until the maid came and dragged her away. She had never returned. She just couldn't.

She had ridden horses when she was an Evil Queen. But she had always had someone else get the animal from the stables. She had always pretended that the place was beneath her, but in reality the smell alone would've had her crumbling to the ground. So she avoided the place all together.

So was the letter right? Was it time? It had been so long. Daniel still frequently starred in her dreams. Sometimes she got to relive one of the joyous moments they had shared, but more often he starred in horrendous nightmares alongside her mother.

She could feel herself slipping deeper into the swirling pool of dark thoughts, and she willed herself to stay afloat. With all the strength she had, she managed to push the memories away. She could hardly have a breakdown on a park bench in the middle of town.

She was still trying to blink the tears that kept welling up away, when she caught a flash of blond hair in her peripheral vision. A certain sheriff had taken a seat next to her. Regina quickly stuffed the letter back into her purse. The last thing she needed was someone questioning her about it.

"Hey," Emma greeted. Her breath forming a little cloud as she spoke.  
"Hey," Regina responded with an unsteady voice, keeping her not quite dry eyes on the pond.

They sat in silence for a long time, watching the ducks search for anything edible in the water. It was cold. It was by no means the kind of weather to sit outside on a bench. And yet, neither woman made any attempt to move. Emma had noticed the tears in Regina's eyes, but she didn't point them out, for which Regina was extremely grateful.

"Henry's at Jefferson's, in case you were wondering," Emma informed her. "I dropped him off before my shift."  
"You're on duty?"  
"Yeah, weekends are the worst. Nothing to do. And the mayor keeps demanding an insane amount of paperwork, which isn't really helping with the boredom either."  
"The mayor just wants to make sure you do a thorough job protecting the town. A few files to prove your competence surely won't be too much of an effort? Unless you deem yourself unfit to be sheriff?"  
They slipped into this friendly banter so easily, it had both of them grinning in no time. They weren't going at each other's throats anymore, like they had in the beginning. They were just playfully poking each other now.

"If you have so much to do," Regina went on, "why are you wasting time on a park bench in the freezing cold?"  
"I wouldn't say I'm wasting time. I'm hoping to sweet talk my boss into giving me an extra Christmas bonus, if I play my cards right." She was kidding. But it was worth a shot.  
"I wouldn't count on that, dear."

"I'm on lunch break," Emma explained. "I'm going crazy sitting at the station all day. Like I can't breathe. And having David there all the time, it's like the oxygen is completely used up in there. Sometimes I just need to get out and get some air."  
"I understand the need to hide in the park for a moment. Being in the same room with your father for hours can get suffocating, I imagine. Don't stay away too long, warn you, he will always find you."  
Emma snorted softly. "Yeah, but that might take him 28 years. And even then, I technically found him."

"So what brings you to this bench?" Emma wanted to know.  
"I went for a walk and I was enjoying the peace and quiet before it was disrupted." There was no real accusation in her tone. She was kind of glad for the distraction Emma provided.  
"It is awfully quiet!" Emma agreed. "I think most people are too busy with this Secret Santa thing to disrupt the peace in any way. We've only had two calls today and one of them was a fallen tree."

"Perhaps I should hire your mother as sheriff. She seems to decrease the crime rate in this town with her little attempts at starting traditions. We could even have unicorns on the badges."  
"I think if you could magic the pepper spray to spray rainbows, she would quit her job first thing Monday morning. So you better be prepared to read files plastered with colorful stickers and written in five different glitter markers."  
Regina's nose wrinkled at the thought. Maybe Emma wasn't as bad a sheriff after all.

Regina rubbed her gloved hands together. They were starting to grow numb from cold now. For someone who could literally conjure fireballs in her palms, her hands got cold surprisingly easily. Even in the best leather gloves this town had to offer, they were freezing.

"So, has Henry told you about the date he planned for Ashley?" Emma was the one to keep up the conversation this time.  
"Yes, he talked about it for a week. He deemed the first phase of Operation Secret Santa a great success, and I believe he had all the right to do so. It's a lovely idea," Regina said before quietly adding, "Thank you for giving him a little nudge in the right direction, Emma."  
The fact that Regina had shared her appreciation came as a surprise to the blonde, but she immediately felt the warmth of the words spread through her.  
"I'm sure you would've done the same and probably better."  
"That doesn't matter. It was you who did it." Did Regina really just pass up on the opportunity to point out her superiority? If anyone still doubted that this woman had changed, Emma thought, they were insane.  
"What? You're not going to say something insulting? I gave the perfect opening!"  
"I didn't think I needed to remind you of my supremacy every conversation. Perhaps I gave you too much credit in assuming you already knew as much."  
Emma grinned. There was the Regina she knew and lov-, wait what? Scratch that last part, brain. What the hell was that about? She better get away, before she got any more crazy thoughts.

Emma slapped her palms down on her thighs while she inhaled deeply . "So I better get going. Lunch break is probably almost over. Please make a few prank calls or something, just to make sure I stay awake and don't forget to pick up Henry." She pushed herself up off the bench and started to walk away, but then halted.

Regina watched her as she turned around and made eye contact with her.  
"Whatever it is, it's not worth getting hypothermia over. Don't drown in those thoughts, Regina." And with those words, she spun around and walked away.  
Regina watched her go until she was out of sight. Emma knew. Of course she did. Emma was always the one to notice when something was bothering her. Regina still wondered what kept giving her away.

She got up too, her cold muscles protesting with the effort. In a random burst of courage that followed as she made her way back to her car, she promised herself that she was going to take that anonymous letter in her purse up on its offer. It had been years. It really was time.

Still feeling confident, her mind whispered it might not be such a 'random' burst of courage. There seemed to be a pattern lately. They always 'randomly' popped up whenever she had had an exchange with the sheriff. She had to stop letting this woman influence her so much. Emma was getting dangerously close sometimes. And she would put a stop to it, really, she would. But to be honest, she wasn't in any rush to do so.

Back at her mansion, when her fingers had regained some sense and mobility, she got out her phone and typed Emma a text. She hit send before she got a chance to change her mind.

**THIS MIGHT NOT QUALIFY AS A PRANK CALL, BUT IT MIGHT JUST DO THE TRICK. PLEASE TRY TO STAY AWAKE. OUR TOWN'S SAFETY IS IN YOUR HANDS. AND I WILL PICK UP OUR SON.  
**

* * *

Henry liked to have brunch at the Charmings on Sundays, and Regina had dropped him off at the loft nearly two hours ago. Sundays were apparently the only day where they all sat down together to have a lengthy breakfast. It was the only day that Emma and both the two idiots where guaranteed to be there at the same time. She couldn't blame Henry for wanting to spend some quality time with his grandparents. She still had him the majority of the week, so she was okay with him spending Sunday's with the Charmings. Especially today, when she had something planned of her own.

Regina kept her eyes locked on the view through her windshield. She was parked behind a row of trees that somewhat hid her car from view. Although she had been sitting there for nearly an hour, she had yet to make a move to get out of the car. Such move would require her to take her hands from the steering wheel, though, and with the white knuckled grip she kept on it, that wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

It had taken everything she had to drive down to this place, and now that she had, she couldn't get herself to even let go of the steering wheel. She was disappointed in herself. She was mad that she couldn't do this simple thing. She was frustrated that her body didn't listen to her. But most of all, she was scared. She was terrified. The fear seemed to cloud all other emotions. Her mind was relentlessly playing memory after memory from her teenage years on a loop. Always ending the playlist with the single worst moment of her life.

Come on, she tried to encourage herself. Come on, Regina. You can do this. Just let go of the wheel and get out of the car. This place isn't the same. It's okay. Do it for the horses. You like horses, don't you? Imagine how good it would feel to ride one again.

No she couldn't do it. She will go in there one day. But not today. She turned the key in the ignition, put her car in reverse and drove off, the Storybrooke stables growing distant in the rearview mirror.


	10. Chapter 10

**as promised, a second update. You can expect another very very soon!**

* * *

Mary Margaret was busy in the kitchen when Emma arrived at the loft. The day at the station had been uneventful but the paperwork had worn her out nonetheless.  
She greeted her mother tiredly as she took a seat at the kitchen counter.  
"Hi honey. Long day at the station?"  
A nod and a sigh confirmed her question. She was already exhausted and bored out of her skull, and it was only Tuesday.

There was a rectangular box on the table. The box was dark grey with a big pink bow tied around it. Although she had never once been inside the store, she immediately recognized the silver logo on the box to be from the only fancy lingerie store Storybrooke had.

"Please tell me that didn't come for me." Emma eyed the box with a little hint of disgust in her features. "Who else could it be for?"  
"You?" Emma said hopefully.  
"O no," Mary Margaret shook her head. "I never had anything delivered from there.° Emma couldn't say she was surprised, but she still let out a little sigh of relief. Mary Margaret wasn't done though.  
"I can't risk having your father find it. It would ruin the surprise. I always just go in th-"  
"O God, stop. Stop. Please just stop." Emma covered her ears but the damage was done. "Are you trying to make my ears bleed, because it wouldn't have taken much more!"  
Mary Margaret had the decency to apologize, even though she didn't even look remotely sorry with that grin on her face.  
"We're your parents, Emma. We're not dead. We still have a romantic life. A very interesting one, if I do say so myself."  
"O MY GOD STOP!" She launched herself over the counter to clamp her hand over her mother's mouth.  
"Okay, here's what we're going to do," Emma addressed Mary Margaret sternly from her awkward position. "I am going to remove my hand and you are never going to say stuff like that ever again. Understood?"  
She felt a nod and slowly lowered her hand as she climbed back off the counter.  
"Good. Remember that. There are some visuals I could do without."  
Emma blinked a few times in an effort to shake the images from her mind.

They had established the gift on the table was not her mother's, so that left only one other option. She briefly contemplated throwing it away unopened. Did she really want to find out what was in a box from the lingerie store, bought by Hook? Not really. But curiosity got the better of her. The option of throwing it out would still be available after it was unwrapped. She took the two steps to the table and grabbed the small envelope that accompanied the box.

**"_When things get constricting, I can help you unwind_"**

She had to swallow twice to keep the bile down. How did he come up with this crap? Or better, how did he come up with this and think it was okay to write on a card? Now she really didn't want to know what was inside that box. Mary Margaret had stepped out from behind the counter and was now looking over her shoulder, clicking her tongue disapprovingly at the message.

It was only one more week to Christmas. Hopefully this was the last present she would get. How offensive could it possibly be?

Here we go. In one smooth motion, she flipped open the lid.

She thought she was prepared for the worst, but was clearly wrong. Her jaw dropped. Never would she have imagined someone would ever buy her this. She was met with the definition of bad taste in the form of a corset. Emma just stared at it so it was up to Mary Margaret take it out of the box. holding it up between her thumbs and pointer fingers.

It was red, covered with a black lace pattern. There was a leather string on the back that seemed to hold the thing together. It would also literally '_unwind_' the whole thing if it were to be pulled. Hence the revolting message. This guy was unbelievable.

It didn't just look extremely uncomfortable, it was hideous. It was by far the ugliest piece on lingerie she had ever seen up close. Even without the implications that had been made in the card, it was all Emma could do not to gag.

Ruffles decorated the top and bottom hemline. Ruffles for crying out loud! Was there anyone on earth that actually thought ruffles were pretty? Even from the captain of a pirate ship Emma had expected a little more taste.

"I'm not alone in thinking this thing is repulsive, am I?" Mary Margaret asked, just to be sure.

The question seemed to snap Emma out of her shock. She blinked a few times and was finally able to close her mouth, though her eyes were still impossible wide. Her answer came in a horrified whisper.

"Kill it with fire."

* * *

Emma's Thursday shifts didn't start until the afternoon, so she had allowed herself to sleep in. When she came down the stairs her eyes fell on the gray box that was still on the table. The monstrosity that had arrived within was put back in there. She eyed it as she made her way to the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal.

Afraid that the monster might crawl out if she took her eyes off of the box, she kept it in sight as she ate her breakfast. When she was done, she simply couldn't take it anymore. This had to stop. This wasn't okay. This wasn't okay. At. All.

She put on a jacket, grabbed the box and her keys and headed out the door. This was going to end. Right. Now.

"Hey," Emma called announcing her approach.

The pirate had just enough time to turn in surprise, before the box hit his chest. His hand came up reflexively to keep it from falling to the ground. He stumbled back a step. Emma might've used a little more force than necessary to shove the present into him.

His eyes trailed to his chest and his lips curled into a cocky grin at the sight of the box.

"Requesting my aid already, m'lady?"

"This," Emma waved her hands first at the box and then between the two of them, "is not okay."  
The pirate didn't seem to pick up on her anger. His grin didn't falter, if anything it got a little wider. He was never one to back down when faced with a challenge.

"You need to stop." She was breathing heavily now, anger pulsing through her veins. She watching his amused expression and it only infuriated her more.  
"This is not a game!" She yelled. "I am not playing hard to get! I am not playing at all! I am not interested!"

She had caught the attention of a few people around the dock now, so she opted to lower her voice for her next words. She spoke slowly, so she was sure his brain could keep up with her.

"I don't care what the Secret Santa rules are. You are not sending me any more presents. I don't want anything from you. You have been trying and failing to talk me into your bed since you arrived here months ago and I have never shown you any interest. I don't know where in your brain you converted my repeated "no" into a "yes" but it needs to stop. No More. I don't know how to make this any clearer. I am done. You are done."

He had remained quiet throughout her entire rant, still holding the box to his chest. He was still looking at her like an innocent school boy when his lips parted and he spoke.  
"I take it you don't like my gift."

Emma groaned in frustration. "When will you get it through your impossibly thick skull? I don't like YOU! And no one, I repeat, no one would like that gift."

"And here I thought red was your color," he said. The reference to her red jacket was obvious. Emma didn't laugh. She didn't even blink. She was suppressing a very strong urge to punch the guy now.

"Alright, love. I apologize for the poorly chosen gift. I have obviously done something to offend you, which was never my intention." He was playing the gentleman card now, but Emma wasn't falling for it. "I assure y-"

"Cut the crap, Hook. I will spell it out one more time. We are never going to happen," She seethed as she gestured between the two of them to be as explicit as she possibly could. He was still not getting it. She could see it in his eyes. She was more than done. She wasn't going to spend another second with him. She turned and stalked off the dock, leaving him standing there a little perplexed at her sudden departure.

Let him try, she thought as she stomped past her bug. She was way too angry to drive right now. She just needed to walk it off. Let him try to get her another gift. She will personally arrest him for harassment.

She wasn't paying attention to where she was going. She knew the streets so well, she wouldn't get herself lost anyway. She kept her eyes down, hands balled at her sides as she walked and walked. She had been walking aimlessly for a good fifteen minutes when the first snowflakes started to fall.

"Watch your step," someone called and Emma nearly collided with someone coming out of a building. She had skidded to a halt at the warning, and nearly lost her footing on the pavement. The thin layer of snow that was already covering every surface, was making it hard to find purchase. Two hands on her arms steadied her just in time. She looked up, straight into the mayor's eyes. At first the dark eyes were condescending, scolding her for nearly running into her, but they quickly showed some concern when she took in the blonde.

"Are you all right?" Regina's tone was soft.  
"No," Emma grunted out, trying to keep her anger in check. "Well, I should be all right now. I better be."  
"What are you talking about?" Only now did Regina realize she was still holding Emma by the arms. She quickly dropped her hands and stuffed them into her pockets.  
"Hook! He apparently drew me in the Secret Santa. Or, he paid Leroy to trade his slip so he could have me. Either way, he's been sending me gifts."  
Regina's face flashed a look of disgust at the mention of his name, and another at the idea of receiving gifts from the pirate. Regina seemed to think for a second before she spoke her next words.  
"You need a drink. And quite frankly, I could use one as well." She started back towards the building she had just come out of, and only now did Emma notice it was Town Hall.  
"As long as it's not rum," Emma muttered and followed Regina inside.

Emma downed her first drink before she launched into a long rant, beginning with the roses, and ending with the confrontation on the dock.  
Regina listened, refilled both their glasses and nodded along with the blonde. O how glad she was she didn't enter that Secret Santa thing right now.  
"How is giving lingerie to someone you have never even seen without a shirt okay?"  
"It's not," Regina said firmly. "I am surprised you didn't drown him."  
"O believe me, I was tempted."  
Emma had significantly calmed down by now. Getting it all out, and having someone who shared her opinion was doing wonders for her mood. The cider didn't suck either.

They both finished their second drink, before Emma heard Regina chuckle lightly.  
"What?" She wanted to know.  
"Could you describe how it looked like one more time? Ruffles you said?"  
"Shut up!" Emma shoved the woman playfully and let out a laugh of her own. In hindsight, it was kind of funny.

"So tell me, why do you need a drink?"  
"I'm sorry?" Regina said as her laughter died. O, she had heard her alright. She was just stalling.  
"Outside. You said you could use a drink too. Why?"  
Regina hesitated. "I-, there's something I need to do today, that I am not particularly confident about."

Regina hadn't told anyone about why she had left work early today. Her schedule allowed it, but even Jane didn't know why she had to keep her boss's Wednesday late afternoon free of meetings. Only she herself knew the reason.

She was going to give it another shot today. She was feeling okay today. She had been kicking herself since Sunday for not going through with it. Today was going to be different. She wasn't going to allow herself to leave like a coward again. She was going to those stables and she was going to go in.

"And what's that?"  
"Something I should've done a long time ago."  
Emma got the message. It was one of those things Regina didn't talk about. Emma had those too, so she didn't ask any further. Instead, she gave a little reassurance.  
"Well, I haven't found anything you suck at yet, so I'm sure you'll be fine."

If only it were that simple, Regina thought and gave Emma a tight smile.


	11. Chapter 11

As Emma approached the mansion on Mifflin Street, the requested files in hand, she immediately saw a well-wrapped Henry moving about on the driveway, a snow shovel in his hand.

It had started snowing last Thursday when she had gone to the dock and then bumped into Regina, and it hadn't stopped. With temperatures having dropped to around 20°F, it was a normal winter in Storybrooke. Maine delivered a white Christmas every year without fail. One of the only perks of Maine's weather, if you'd ask Emma. It was a good thing she didn't get cold very easily.

"What are you doing?" Emma asked when she turned into the driveway.  
"What does it look like?" Henry grumbled as he kept pushing heaps of snow out of the way. He sounded so much like his adoptive mother, as he brushed passed her with his shovel, that Emma had to smile. He probably had no idea how much he and Regina were alike sometimes. He wouldn't believe it if she told him.

"I know what you're doing kid," Emma chuckled. "I was asking why you were doing it. Can't your mom simply fireball the whole thing clean?"

Henry stopped and turned to face her, an eyebrow raised. Again Emma found the expression scarily similar to the expression Regina loved to wear whenever Emma had apparently said something stupid. It was astonishing.

After Henry had stared her down for a moment, Emma connected the dots.  
"She wants you to do it," Emma concluded nodding. "What did you do to deserve this?"  
Henry shrugged at first, unwilling to admit it. He turned away again, to throw the snow on the heap he was creating.  
"Henry," Emma warned. "I could ask your mom, you know."  
"Mom caught me playing video games."  
"So? You're allowed to play them."  
"It was past midnight." He reluctantly went on to explain. "But we were just about to find the treasure, we were so close! I couldn't just stop and abort our mission!"  
Emma didn't miss the 'we' part, and so she prodded some more. "And who exactly are the 'we' we're talking about?"  
"Me and Grace." Did he just blush a little or was that just the cold coloring his cheeks? O, he was totally having a crush, Emma grinned. She didn't even need to tease a confession out of him. It was written all over his reddening face.

"Grace and I." A voice corrected from behind them and they both spun around at the sound. Even in the snow, Regina somehow managed to walk like a queen. How did she manage to be so graceful? Emma wondered. Those leather boots couldn't have all that much grip on the thick slippery snow, but yet, the woman walked confidently towards them, her hands tucked in the pockets of her grey trench coat and her eyes going back and forth between her son and Emma.

"Miss Swan." Regina inclined her head in her direction. It sounded like a greeting and an invitation to explain her presence in one.  
"Well, you said you wanted those files ASAP. And now that I have detected a serious case of child labor, I might just arrest you while we're at it," Emma replied easily as she handed over the files with a grin.

"This hardly qualifies as child labor. I am simply teaching our son that actions have consequences. If Henry thinks he's old enough to stay up past midnight playing mind-numbing video games, then I simply deemed him old enough to do some grown-up work the day after."  
Henry lets out a small huff, but doesn't say anything. Emma remained quiet too. She didn't dare undermine Regina's parenting authority. Co-parenting was all about seeing eye to eye, right? And besides, the woman had a point. Rules are rules. Emma had been given way more severe punishments for smaller things.

"You knew the rules, Henry. No video games after eight, and certainly not after bed time. Even if it is with your… friend." From the tone the brunette used as she emphasized the last word, it was pretty clear she too knew about the crush of their son. With one more look between the two of them, and squeeze to Henry's shoulder, Regina turned and made her way into the mansion.

"Okay," Emma said as the front door closed and they were alone again. "I just want to know one thing."  
"yeeeeesss," Henry drawled, not even waiting for the question. "I deeply regret my actions, I have learned my lesson and I will never do it again."  
It sounded a little rehearsed, like it wasn't the first time he had had to say it. Which seemed very likely. Emma waved a hand to dismiss his answer.  
"Actually, save that for your mom. I'm sure she'll want to hear it later. All I wanted to know is, was it worth it?"  
Henry's face instantly lit up, a wide grin spreading across his face. "Totally!"

He launched into a detailed description of how they defeated bad guy after bad guy together and how they eventually found the treasure, and Emma simply listened and nodded along. They fell into easy conversation while Henry cleared the entire drive way. The task wasn't as bad when he had someone to talk to.

He just emptied his shovel for the last time, when he was hit in the back of the head by a well-aimed snowball.  
"BOOOYAAA!" Emma laughed as she flexed her biceps with a cocky grin. "I still got it."  
"So do I!" Henry shouted back and she was hit in the stomach. She saw henry approaching, so she quickly took off in the other direction to find cover behind a nearby tree. Henry changed his course to find a hiding place of his own. They stared each other down before Henry threw the first snowball, missing Emma by a hair as she dove back behind her tree. As she peeked out to estimate the distance, another snowball zoomed past, skimming her arm. The boy was good. Emma was impressed.  
With her back against the tree, she let herself sink down into a crouch, making two perfect snowballs. If Henry was expecting her at eye height, she was going to stay low for her next attack. When both balls were up to her standard, she let herself drop onto her side, leaving her hiding place. As she was still falling, she threw the first ball, hitting Henry squarely in the chest. He hadn't expected her, but he recovered quickly. Emma's second snowball hit his leg, as his own found its target on her arm.  
As quick as she had fallen into view, she was flying out of it again, taking cover once more.  
"Just give it up, kid! I can do this all day!" She yelled to her enemy hidden behind a bush on the other side of yard.  
"So can I! I have a lot more patience than you do!" Darn, the kid was good… and right. She peeked around the tree, weighing her options and she was instantly met with a snowball. She had seen it coming, slapping it away with her hand. Another quickly followed, hitting the tree hard, right next to her head. The kid definitely got good aim. She was suddenly struck with a pang of sadness as she realized she was only finding out about this now. There was so much she didn't know about this kid. So much she never had a chance to teach him.  
It only took a few seconds to push the thoughts back into that dark space in her mind she rarely visited. With everything safely locked away, she was able to continue to focus on the task at hand: turning her son into a snowman and showing him who the champ really was.

She had seen the first two coming, but Henry kept throwing ball after ball. Emma decided to wait him out. If she wasn't in sight, she couldn't be hit, right? She waited, and waited some more until she was absolutely certain there weren't any more coming. She dared a look but there was no sign of Henry. He must've finally run out of ammunition, making a new batch while hiding. She threw a snowball towards the bush, hoping to rattle him enough for him to show his face, but no such luck.

She never took her eyes off the bush as she grabbed more snow. Ball ready, she awaited her moment. There was no movement from his side of the yard, no sounds either, but she could feel the unease of an impending attack. Bring it, she thought confidently.

"Hey!"

Emma spun around, not prepared to be attacked from behind. How had he managed to sneak up on her like that? How had he gotten out from behind that bush without her knowing? She had been watching it the entire time, hadn't she? The entire time, except when she was waiting out his attack. So he hadn't wanted to hit her, he wanted her to take cover so he could get away unnoticed.  
He might have her aim, but it was abundantly clear who he got his brain from, even if he technically didn't share any DNA with the woman.

With a smile that could only be described as victorious, Henry pulled his arm back, loaded with the biggest snowball he was sure he could throw, and swung forward letting it fly towards his wide eyed mother.

She saw it coming, but there was nothing she could do. There was just enough time to close her eyes before the snow connected with her face. Henry doubled over howling with laughter, as she tried to wipe the dripping snow off her now frozen face. Unfortunately for Henry, Emma's recovery time was shorter than his and as he righted himself, catching his breath, Emma was already on the move. A second later, her arms were around him, tackling him to the ground and she climbed on top of him, holding him down.

She scooped up a hand full of snow, rubbing it in his face. He desperately shook his head, trying to get away from the freezing substance. After another handful was successfully spread over his face and hair, she changed tactics, attacking his sides with both hands, tickling him.  
"Who's the boss?" She asked. Henry was laughing so hard, he probably couldn't have answered if he wanted to. He squirmed and tried to wiggle his way out from underneath her.  
"Who's the boss?" Emma repeated, but Henry pressed his lips together and just shook his head trying to push her off.  
"Just admit it, and I'll stop."  
"Never!" Henry shouted, as he seemed to have given up the struggle.  
"Say it!"  
"I'm the boss!" Once she realized what was happening, it was already too late. He hadn't stopped struggling at all. He had in fact been preparing himself. She felt two gloved hands full of snow shoot up, right under her short jacket and shirt. She yelped as the snow came in direct contact with the skin of her back.  
With a smirk, Henry pushed her off and quickly reversed their positions, shoveling snow in handfuls onto every part of Emma he could reach. Unfortunately, he wasn't as strong as his mother and he wasn't able to hold the position for very long. Despite growing faster than either of his moms liked, getting taller every day, he was still overpowered easy enough. For which Emma was secretly very grateful.

As soon as the blond freed herself, she scrambled up and away, shaking and slapping her back, trying to get the rapidly melting snow out.  
"Under the clothes? No fair." She pouted as she wiggled the snow free.  
"It's not my fault you didn't dress for a snow fight." Henry pointed out laughing, as he watched the awkward dance.  
"You're mean."  
"I'm smart." Henry shrugged, not able to wipe the smug smile off his face.

There was no way Emma could get rid of all the snow sticking to her back. It was rapidly turning into water anyway, so she just patted her back a few more times, and gave up.  
"Well kid, you were taught by the best."

Speak of the devil. As Emma looked over Henry's head, she noticed Regina standing in the doorway of the mansion, hugging herself against the cold, and was that an actual smile on her face?  
As their eyes met, Regina let the smile slowly fade, but she didn't avert her eyes.

Emma was waiting for Regina to scold her for getting Henry covered in snow. Maybe say something about catching a cold or about how childish Emma was. But she didn't. She just held Emma's gaze for a moment longer, before blinking and turning to Henry, who had followed Emma's gaze and turned around to face his mother by now.

She had been standing in the doorway for a good five minutes now. The two had been too caught up in their fight to notice her presence. She had watched them throw snowballs back and forth. She had seen how her son snuck up his blonde mother, ambushing her and claiming victory. The fun they were having was so contagious, Regina herself couldn't stop the corners of her mouth from turning upwards, but even as a smile was forming on her face, she felt something else swirling inside her.  
When was the last time Henry had laughed so freely when he was with her? She wondered. They had both worked hard on their relationship, and it was going well, but Henry seldom looked as carefree as he did right now.

They had built their fair share of snowmen in the past. Henry had loved the snow ever since he was little, and Regina loved her son enough to venture out into the cold with him whenever he asked. The frequency of his asking, however, became fewer and fewer, as her son grew older and it stopped all together when he got his book. She had felt him slip through her fingers, and she had instinctively tried to hold on tighter to keep herself from losing him. It only made him more distant, up to a point where they were barely speaking.

It still hurt to think back to those times where the only looks she got from Henry were either accusing or disappointed. She was glad to know he no longer saw her as the Evil Queen but as his mother again. They had come a long way since then. Every now and then, she still saw a flicker of his old self in his eyes, but he was always quick to push it away with a smile. She couldn't blame him. She herself still felt the darkness sometimes. It was so much a part her, an unwanted part, that she found it impossible to get rid of. Still. that didn't mean she ever stopped trying.

She couldn't help feel a little jealous of the blonde. The effortless way she seemed to interact with Henry was admirable. Maybe they were only able to do so, because of the lack of history between the two. The lack of bad history, in particular.

If she was being completely honest, it wasn't just jealousy she felt. There was a part of her, that was content watching them. Henry's laughter, mingling with Emma's, it wasn't an unpleasant sound. It wasn't such an unpleasant sight either. Emma with her hair full of snow, her cheeks flushed and a smile as bright as the twinkling of her eyes. It was the reason she hadn't made her presence known, even if she told herself it wasn't.

Regina's lips parted, and Emma prepared herself for the disapproving words that were sure to come next. As long as Henry got off easily, everything would be fine. She was positively surprise at the brunette's next words.

"It's getting dark," Regina stated, shifting a little. "I thought you might be cold. Perhaps it's time to come inside now? I made hot chocolate, in case you might want some."

Henry's eyes immediately lit up at the mention of the hot drink. She didn't make it very often anymore now that he was old enough to do it himself. He somehow never managed to make it exactly like hers. He suspected her of having a secret ingredient but whenever he asked she simply smiled knowingly. He never really tried to figure it out. He liked how his mother's hot chocolate remained a special treat this way.

Without a second glance at Emma, he raced toward the house only to be stopped at the door.  
"Brush off the snow first and take off your shoes and jacket on the mat. I would like to keep my floor dry."  
He padded himself down, getting as much of the snow from his clothes and hair before entering the mansion with his jacket already unzipped. Regina watched him go and then turned to follow him inside.

He was growing up so fast, but if something as simple as hot chocolate could still make him so excited, the kid inside him wasn't gone just yet. It was a comforting thought to Emma. There was still some childhood left for her to witness. Content and a little cold herself, Emma turned her back to the retreating family and started toward the street where her bug was waiting. She had only taken a few steps before she was stopped by the sound of her name.

"Miss Swan?"  
Emma turned to the sound with raised eyebrows. Regina had already stepped back into the house, her hand rested on the door knop.  
"Would you," a moment of hesitation and a steadying breath, "Would you like a cup of hot chocolate?"

Well, that was unexpected. It must've taken quite a lot of effort.  
It wasn't the first time she had been invited in. It wasn't the first time they had spent time together with Henry. But it was possibly the first invitation she had gotten that Henry hadn't pushed for. This was all Regina. She was actively reaching out to her!  
It made Emma feel a little warmer. Besides, there was no way Emma was going to say no a cup of hot cocoa. So maybe, she mused, getting way too excited for hot cocoa wasn't something only for kids.

"Always."

* * *

**Leave a review if you have the time :)**


	12. Chapter 12

Henry arrived at 10 sharp, like he always did for Sunday brunches. Emma envied Regina's punctuality. She always struggled to get somewhere on time, while the brunette seemed to be effortlessly early for everything.

"Hey kid, it's just the two of us right now." Emma said from where she leaned on the kitchen counter munching on some cereal straight from the box. "Your grandparents will be back soon. They both went out to deliver their last presents."

It was the weekend before Christmas and Mary Margaret had just revealed who she had drawn. Emma hadn't asked. She hadn't even cared, but now she knew anyway. Her mother had just been too excited to keep it in any longer. Apparently her father had known already, which wasn't much of a surprise. These two didn't keep secrets from each other very often. It was like they just couldn't.

She had let the name slip as she decorated the well wrapped present with stickers and glitter. Once it was out, Mary Margaret saw no need to be secretive any longer and had started to recount all she had gotten Archie up to this point. Dog snacks, a new leash, a leather bound binder, fountain pens and now an empty stamp collecting album.

Emma never knew he was a passionate philatelist. For a second she wondered how that worked, in a town closed off from the outside world. It seemed to suit him though. He seemed like he possessed the kind of patience needed to work tweezers and vulnerable pieces of paper.

She still had no idea who her father drew. He usually bought his presents on the way home, and dropped them off before anyone even noticed he had gotten anything. She figured he didn't really care for the tradition like his wife. He had fun, but didn't go overboard. He just got something decent and be done with it.

The presents he received in return weren't very spectacular either. After the arrival of the toolbox, she had witnessed the arrival of gloves and a bottle of aftershave. It must be someone who didn't really know her father very well, which ruled out nearly everyone Emma knew by name.

Her mother's Secret Santa experience was something of the complete opposite. While Mary Margaret had been jumping up and down for the birdhouse, she nearly fainted at the sight of the single other gift she had gotten. When she had gotten home from work last Monday, there had been a huge bubble-wrapped package on the sidewalk. A paper sign with her name on it had been taped to it.

Mary Margaret had kept her gift company, shivering in the cold, until David came home nearly an hour later. Emma had tried to persuade her to come inside, but she hadn't budged. She even made Emma go back inside, though her daughter wasn't the one who's lips were turning blue. When Emma's father finally got there, they had managed to get it up the stairs and into the loft.

Emma had already laid out a pair of scissors and a garbage bag for her and Mary Margaret wasted no time before diving in. Within the blink of an eye, the bubble-wrap was removed and it revealed the smooth, light maple wood it protected. Emma had to admit, it was amazing. It even left her momentarily speechless.

Mary Margaret first just stared at it without moving a muscle. Her eyes roaming over every square inch of wood she could see. This went on for so long that Emma started to worry whether someone had accidentally found and flipped her mother's off-switch. If so, she would love to know where that was located. It might come in handy someday.

And then, very slowly, Mary Margaret's arm came up and she caressed the smooth surface of her new craft station's worktop. She opened the drawers under it and closed them again. She traced the shelves above it and then ran her hand down the sides. Her eyes were shining with tears of joy and her mouth hung open. If it had been humanly possible for her to puke rainbows, the whole room would've been filled with them.

There was only one skilled set of hands in Storybrooke who could create something this sturdy and beautiful from wood. This was undoubtedly the craftsmanship of the man who's boy had gone through the same portal she had gone through all those years ago.

Emma had always liked Marco. He was always kind and he was fun to have a chat with once in a while, but she never knew he could be THIS kind. Watching her mother, still stunned and running her hands over her new piece of furniture, she was extremely grateful for his kindness.

The craft station had been given a place against the wall across from the kitchen now. Mary Margaret had spent hours organizing her stuff in the drawers and on the shelves only to take it all out again and start over. Every evening since it's arrival 6 days ago, Mary Margaret had been sitting at it, doing one thing or another. It really was the perfect gift.

Henry was now admiring the masterpiece too as he waited for his grandparents to come back.  
"This is amazing," he said in awe.  
"Yeah, it is," Emma said as she came to stand next to him. "Sets the bar pretty high, doesn't it?"  
"I'm just a kid," he said teasingly. "Anything half decent from me is appreciated double because I'm young. So I guess I'm good. It's you who should be worried." He bumped his shoulder into her arm.  
"Don't I know it," Emma sighed.

The wait wasn't very long. David and Mary Margaret returned and they started their brunch, chatting happily. Of course, the first topic of the day was the same it had been for three weeks now.

"So Henry, Ruby told me the dinner you planned was a great success? I have to say, that was a great idea!" Henry had entrusted his parents with the information about his giftee. There wasn't really a way to talk to Emma in this loft, without them overhearing anyway, so he just included them from the start.

Henry beamed at the praising words. Though, he made sure he swallowed the mouthful of eggs before he answered. The boy was raised by a former Queen after all.  
"Yes, I mean, Emma helped. But yes, I am so glad it worked out so well. I also saw little Alexandra wearing one of the shirts Grace and I had made for her the other day. That was awesome too!"

Apparently the hours he spent at Jefferson's mansion were well spent. The guy had been teaching Grace and Henry the basics of sewing. And they had immediately put their new skills to good use. With some of Henry's baby clothes as examples, they had made three outfits. Emma may be a little biased, but the clothes looked pretty well to her. She was sure Ashley loved them too.

"So, Henry, are you going out with a bang this Wednesday?" David wanted to know.  
"I hope so! When my mom and I were looking for my baby clothes in the attic, we found a rocking chair. Mom said I could fix it up as a last gift. She's helping me sand it down and then we're painting it."

If Henry had said that a year ago, Emma wouldn't have believed him. A year ago, she wouldn't have been able to picture Regina with a piece of sand paper of a paintbrush. Now though, it wasn't all that hard. She saw more and more of the domestic side of the woman. A perfect example was when she had invited Emma in for a cup of hot cocoa yesterday. It had been the single best hot chocolate she had had in her entire life.

Regina had even had a cup herself. Although she still sat regally on the sofa, with her legs crossed and her back straight, she had cradled the mug in both her hands sipping contently. There was a softness to it, Emma noticed. Something so vulnerable and in that moment she looked so beautiful. Lucky for Emma, Henry had gone on and on about how he had ambushed Emma in the snow fight and Regina had her full attention on him. It gave her a perfect opportunity to stare at the completely disarmed Regina.

"A rocking chair?" Emma heard Mary Margaret say, snapping her out of her thoughts. "That's lovely, sweety. I'm sure it'll turn out wonderful. If you need any help or supplies, you know, just let me know. I am well stocked." Mary Margaret's eyes drifted over to her new craft station for at least the hundredth time in ten minutes.

"I will remember that, thanks grandma," Henry said politely, but when Mary Margaret looked away, he shook his head at Emma. He was probably picturing a rocking chair covered in glitters and painted on flowers right now, just like Emma was. The kid was right, better not involve her mother in this.

"How about you Emma? You are the only I haven't seen walking around with a present yet."  
David was right. Mainly because she hadn't delivered any actual presents, but also because she didn't want to have her parents involved.

"Maybe because I am the only one who honors the 'secret' part in Secret Santa?" She kept the tone of her voice indifferent, but she exchanged a knowing look with Henry. Her parents have been casually asking about her giftee and her progress and all she had done was assure them she was on schedule.

No one responded to her comment. It was time to change the subject. Her father had the same idea, because just as Emma opened her mouth to say something, David spoke up.  
"So, have you been enjoying the snow, Henry? Please tell me you've build a fort or I will be forced to take you out after brunch."  
"O yeah, I totally humiliated Emma in a snow fight yesterday!" Henry laughed while Emma did a fake pout. He recounted yesterday's afternoon to his grandparents. He may have exaggerated certain parts and downplayed others but Emma just laughed along with him and her parents. It didn't matter.

When he was done, his face grew serious again. "I haven't been ice skating though. I thought it would be nice to do with mom. She could teach me, you know. but when I asked, she told me she had never learned how either."  
Emma was watching Henry while he said it, so she missed the confusion that flickered across Mary Margaret's face at the words.

Emma could understand that Regina wouldn't want to humiliate herself in front of the whole town, by trying to skate. How bad she must've felt having to tell her son she couldn't do this with him. Although maybe she could, Emma thought, a plan forming in her mind. She could teach her. She could teach her how to skate, so she could take their son out.

Henry would be overjoyed if Regina were to take him anyway. And so would Regina probably. She always was when she got to share a special moment with Henry. This had to be Emma's last gift to her.

It was going to be tricky. It was going to take a bit of planning, and it would require Regina to actually listen to her instructions. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part would be having to reveal herself to Regina and having to explain how she had ended up participating in the Secret Santa after all.

This wasn't going to be easy. But when was anything ever easy between the two of them? 


	13. Chapter 13

This is it, Emma thought as her alarm went off on Wednesday. Sink or swim. Tonight she will know. Even though she had set her alarm on an earlier hour than usual, she was still the last one up. David was sitting at the table with a mug of coffee and the newspaper. Mary Margaret was apparently too excited to stay still for more than a minute at a time so she was running around with a feather-duster humming to herself.

Emma chuckled to herself at how much her mother resembled the Disney version of Snow White right now. Maybe if she opened the windows and door, all kinds of wildlife would come in.

"Morning dad," Emma greeted as she passed him on her way to the kitchen. "Morning mom!" She called out to the woman who was now twirling around near the couch. She gave a wave, so she didn't have to interrupt her humming.

"Hey honey," David said as he shot her a glance over his paper. "Today's the big reveal, huh?"

Emma groaned in response. She took her mug from a cupboard and poured herself a cup of coffee. There was so much to do before tonight. She had a few things to check up on, and some others to set up. Thankfully she already bought all she needed yesterday, so at least that was a small load off her back. She was meeting up with Jefferson in two hours to finalize a few things they already discussed. And then there was the question of how to get Regina to meet her on Christmas Eve. Yeah, she had a lot to do.

Being the sheriff had its perks. One of her jobs was making the shift schedule. Foreseeing that she was going to be swamped with preparations today, she had granted herself a day off. The downside was that this meant that tomorrow's morning shift had her name on it. Well, we all make sacrifices, she reasoned with herself. She would take Christmas dinners over Christmas mornings any time anyway.

"Everything set up?" David asked when she took a seat next to him with her cereal.  
"Not yet, but I'll be okay." I hope, she added in her head. "You'll be picking up Henry on your way to Granny's tonight, right?" She had let Henry know she wasn't going to be at the diner tonight. He had understood immediately. They both knew Emma couldn't possibly reveal herself in there. Although Henry didn't know where she and Regina were going to go, if not the diner, he didn't ask too many questions. He had even pretended to be interested in the party's preparations, in an effort to get his grandparents to take him on for the night. Within two sentences, he had freed both his mothers to do whatever Emma had planned. The kid was a genius sometimes.

"Yes, we are picking Henry up around 5. We'll head straight to Granny's to have dinner and prepare for the party afterwards. Gee, Emma, I'd almost say you're nervous." Was it that obvious? She had really tried to keep her voice and face neutral. She had been hiding her Secret Santa struggles this long, she wasn't about to ruin it on the last day. So instead of just nodding in agreement, she just chuckled and elbowed her dad in the ribs.

"It's not too late to ask for help," Mary Margaret sang from the living area. "I am completely free for the afternoon, in case you were wondering. My own gifts are ready to go." She patted the wrapped packages laying on her craft station as she passed them.

"Yeah again, thanks but no thanks. You guys do your thing, and I will do mine." Emma scooped the last of her cereal into her mouth and after glancing at the clock she got up. "Speaking of which, I should get going." 

* * *

"Oh come on, Regina." Kathryn whined as she chased her best friend with a pen and paper. "Make some resolutions with me."

"Absolutely not," Regina called over her shoulder as she made her way to the kitchen. "Did you really just come over here to persuade me to make New Year's resolutions with you? Because you could've saved yourself a trip, dear."

Regina had just finished lunch with Henry when the doorbell had rung to announce her friend's arrival. Henry was upstairs now trying to figure out the best way to wrap a rocking chair and she was left to rinse the dishes. Normally, she would've made Henry help but the boy had practically been vibrating in his chair the entire time. He was so excited about tonight that Regina had decided to grant him a day off from chores.

Kathryn took the dishes Regina rinsed, to place them in the dish washer. They had had enough dinners together for the simple task to be a familiar one for both of them.

"Actually, getting you to make some resolutions would've been a bonus," Kathryn said while she placed the last dish in the washer. She closed the door and rubbed her hands dry on her jeans before she continued.  
"I came to see if you'll be alright tonight. Spending Christmas Eve alone, I mean."  
Regina was touched by the gesture. The fact that she had someone worrying about her still felt slightly foreign to her sometimes. She didn't mention the fleeting feeling, but there was a good chance Kathryn had seen it flash across her face anyway.

"Don't be silly, dear." Regina waved a hand to dismiss the worried look Kathryn was giving her. She got out two glasses and poured both of them a glass of orange juice. "I actually look forward to a free night. I still need to read that book you gave me, and I have already chosen the perfect bottle of wine to go with it."

It was true, she was actually looking forward to spending an evening doing nothing but relax, read and have some wine. Maybe the idea of being alone on Christmas Eve would sink in when the house would be dark and empty tonight, but right now she was fine and she told Kathryn as much.

"If you say so," Kathryn shrugged. She wasn't completely convinced.

They made their way to the living room where they took a seat on the sofa. It was then that Regina noticed the paper Kathryn was holding wasn't empty.

"I see you have been writing down resolutions? I thought you wanted to do it together?"

"I got a burst of inspiration this morning, so I got started already. Besides, I didn't actually think you would do it. And I was right. Unless you changed your mind?" Kathryn's tone was hopeful at the end, but Regina just snorted and shook her head.

"Well maybe if you hear mine, you will."

"Try me."

Kathryn cleared her throat and read all the good intentions she had written down earlier. Most of the resolutions were obvious. Cut down on chocolate consumption. Lose a few pounds. Volunteer more. The kind that were on her list every year. Regina cocked an eyebrow at a few and actually snorted at the last one before repeating it incredulously.

"Exercise more? Have you met yourself? All the others I could believe, but now you are being ridiculous."

Kathryn crossed her arms defiantly. "Excuse me, Miss Mills, I could very well exercise if I wanted to."

"Of course you could, dear," Regina said nodding sarcastically while patting her friends knee. "I could also very well join the knitting club Mary Margaret hosts if I wanted to."

Kathryn chuckled at the image of Regina with knitting pens, side by side with Mary Margaret, knitting a hideous sweater while chatting happily. Hell would have to freeze over for that to ever become reality.  
"Make fun of me all you want, Regina. I have done my research and I will be enrolling first thing next month. Yogalates seems to be all the rage. And I've heard the teacher is cute." Kathryn had overheard some women talking about the new Yogalates classes the school's gym teacher taught in the school's gymnasium two evenings a week.

"Aaahh," Regina breathed knowingly. "I knew you weren't going to exercise without some extra motivation."

Kathryn raised her hands in surrender. "Whatever floats my boat, right? If it takes a hot guy to get my ass into shape, then so be it. Not all of us have the extreme discipline you have."

Regina couldn't argue that. She was lucky she enjoyed a few hours of physical activity a week. She had her work out routine and schedule down to a science, targeting all muscle groups and including some cardio to stay slim. Although she had to admit, with the way she ate, there wasn't much need for fat burning workouts.

They heard footsteps thundering down the stairs and a second later Henry appeared in the doorway. His hands were full of ribbons and rolls of paper. When he met Regina's gaze, she could see the desperation in his eyes.

"What's wrong, Henry?" She asked calmly.  
"I have been trying for ages now, but I just can't wrap the stupid chair!" His frustration made his voice's volume unnecessarily high, but he didn't care.

"That," Kathryn began, before Regina could respond, "is my cue to leave. I am disastrous when it comes to wrapping presents, which is why I always have salespeople do it for me. Even the mere idea of wrapping a chair, of all things, makes my skin crawl."

Both women got up and made their way to the door.

"Regina," Katheryn said with one foot over the threshold. Regina raised her eyebrows, awaiting to hear the rest. She could see Kathryn was going to say something, but at the last moment changed her mind and went for something light instead. "You enjoy that book tonight."

The implications were there anyway. Kathryn would be thinking of her tonight. Sending some, probably unneeded, mental support her way.

"I will. And you enjoy the party."

The door wasn't even fully closed yet when she was called for mom-duty. She took a deep breath, and hoped she would figure out a way to wrap a rocking chair to her son's standards.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N Hi guys! I'm sorry to tell you there will be only one update today and tomorrow. I haven't been able to finish anything beyond chapter 15 yet although I have been trying very hard. I knew writing this was going to be hard, so I need a little extra time. I promise I'll keep my word and update daily, so you can expect chapter 15 tomorrow and another update the day after.**

**I also wanted to give you alittle head****s-up, we're nearing the end of the story.**

**Thanks again to everyone who read, followed, favorited and reviewed my story. This story has already gotten way more response than I could've ever dreamed of, so THANK YOU!**

**Enjoy today's chapter!**

* * *

Emma paced up and down toll bridge a few times. She had finished all the preparations in time. She had even had some time to get back home and change. Everything was in order, all that was left was get Regina to come meet her. Which was probably the most difficult task yet.

All day long she had tried to come up with a good way to do it. All day long she had bounced around ideas in her head but none of them seemed to stick long enough to form into a solid plan. So here she was, it was nearly six-thirty. The party at Granny's would be starting any time now. Very soon everyone would know who their Secret Santa was.

Come on, Swan, think. We can do this. What would get Regina out of the house on Christmas Eve. There was only one thing she could think of, but she couldn't possibly do that to the woman could she?

Screw it, Emma thought as she pulled out her phone and opened a new text. She was desperate. Without a second thought she typed out the message, and hit send. Hopefully she would be allowed to live long enough to explain herself. 

* * *

Regina had just traded her button down shirt and pencil skirt for a more casual and warm sweater and slacks. She was in the kitchen about to pour herself a glass of wine when her phone buzzed on the counter. She almost considered not looking at the message but when she saw Emma's name on the display, she decided to open it anyway. Emma never texted her if it wasn't important.

COULD YOU MEET ME AT THE TOLL BRIDGE? IT'S HENRY. SOMETHING HAPPENED.

The wine was forgotten the second she read her son's name. It took all of thirty seconds to slip into the nearest pair of boots and her coat. She grabbed her scarf and gloves on her way out the door. Who knows what happened, she might need to keep warm for a while. Or, gods forbid, keep Henry warm for a while.

Although Regina tried her best, there was no way she could even meet the speed limit most of the way. The roads were extremely slippery with all the snow and ice. Her anxiety level rose with every second that passed. What had Emma been talking about? What did she mean "something happened"?

She was envisioning one worst case scenario after the other when she finally reached the bridge. She could see Emma's bug parked on the side of the road and a moment later she spotted the blonde pacing the width of the bridge. Although Emma stopped in her tracks when she noticed the approaching headlights of Regina's Mercedes.

Regina was out of the car the second it stopped rolling, making her way towards the blonde in long strides.  
"What is it?" She demanded to know in a frantic voice. "Where is he?"  
"Regina I-" Emma began in a voice too calm to suit the situation.  
"Where is he, Miss Swan?!"  
"Regina calm down. He's not here."  
"What do you mean he's not? Then where is he?" She kept looking around, trying to catch a glimpse of her son somewhere.

"He's safe. He's at the diner, probably stuffing himself with cookies and pie."  
Regina blinked a few times, confusion rendering her momentarily speechless. It didn't take long for her to collect herself, though.  
"Then what the hell am I doing here?" Her voice was now low and dangerous.

"I-I-I just," Emma stammered. She had heard Regina snarl at her like that many times before, of course, but it had been a while and this time things were different. This time she didn't have any anger of her own to launch a counter attack. This time she needed the brunette to like her at the end of the conversation.

Emma cleared her throat nervously, took a deep breath and answered Regina's question. "I needed a way to get you here, and this was the only thing I could think of."

"You used my son to lure me here?"

"Well, I didn't exactly lure you here. Jesus, I'm not a creepy old man."

Her first instinct was to throw a few insults in Emma's face, turn around and drive off. But then how was she going to find out why Emma was here and not at the diner? And more importantly, why Emma had wanted Regina to be there as well? She stared at Emma, expecting her to stare back just as challenging. But to her surprise, Emma's eyes didn't hold the challenge she had seen in them so many times.

Emma's eyes were kind. They were waiting for her to calm down. She saw a little worry in them, presumable worried that Regina wasn't going to give her the chance to explain. And there was something else in there. Something she didn't often see directed at her, but here it was undeniable. Emma's eyes were warm.

And so she breathed. She willed her anger to subside a little. Her brain fought, telling her this was absurd. It was Christmas Eve and look where they were! But her heart told her to hear Emma out. So she remained quiet.

"Look," Emma began tentatively, "I know I shouldn't have used Henry to get you to come here." She paused, waiting for a response, any response from Regina. But Regina remained silent. Emma took it as a sign to continue.

"So I'm sorry for that." Good. Apologizing is always good. "It's a good thing you weren't all that busy anyway, right?" An attempt to lighten the mood. An attempt at breaking the almost literal ice that was covering Regina's face. And oh did it break. Unfortunately, now she was met with fire.

Regina had been willing to listen, not be ridiculed. Who was this woman to make her rush out of her house to this deserted bridge, only to laugh at how lonely she was today. Yes, she was pretty lonely, she would admit it now. No, she didn't have anything special or important to do. But there was no way she was going to stand here and be judged for it. She couldn't stop her lip from pulling up into a snarl as she looked Emma over one more time before spinning around and walking away.

"Regina!" Emma's pleading voice called after her. But she didn't listen.

"Regina, I didn't mean to- I'm sorry!" Regina wasn't stopping. Damn it, Emma scolded herself. It wasn't the first time she had accidentally ruined something by letting her natural tendency to joke in tense situations get the better of her. She had to think fast now. Regina was already several feet away.

"Philip told me to thank you for your visits."

That stopped her. She didn't turn around. She didn't move. The words had frozen her into place. How did Emma know? Philip promised her he wouldn't tell anyone. And why would he tell Emma, of all people? What was it to her, anyway?

"I'm glad you went to those stables," Emma went on. Regina heard the snow on the road crack a little. Emma must be moving towards her.

"I'm glad you did something for _you_, for a change." Emma was downright quoting the letter now. What the hell was going on? Another few steps. Regina still hadn't moved apart from visibly shaking. Her eyes were trained straight ahead, filling up fast.

"Henry said your seemed a little happier the past week. I didn't tell him anything and I am assuming neither did you, but he notices. He cares, Regina."

Emma was right. Regina had been feeling a little better. She had finally gotten up the courage to go to the stables exactly one week ago. It was that day where she had bumped into the blonde in front of Town Hall. Emma had just confronted Hook about the inappropriate gifts she no longer wanted to receive, and Regina had been heading out to go to the stables.

She remembered that day. The two of them had shared a drink in Regina's office, they talked and even teased each other a little. It had been nice. It had given her the extra confidence boost that eventually made her get out of her car and enter the stables.

She had had a great time with the animal Philip had pointed out for her. Spending a good two hours riding, brushing and taking care of the horse. Tasks that had always relaxed her when she was a teenager, still did the trick so many years later it turned out. By now, she had gone back there three more times.

Regina had to admit, she was proud of herself for not breaking into a million pieces at the smell of fresh hay. She was proud she kept it together when her hand brushed the soft head of the horse. Instead, she had been able to give some of the feelings she had bottled up for so long, a place in her heart. For just a moment on the back of that horse, she had remembered the person she used to be. She had remembered the young woman who saved a little girl's life. And it had felt incredible.

Emma lifted her arm slowly when she reached Regina. She lay her hand gently on the other woman's shoulder, asking Regina to turn around but leaving the choice completely up to her. She could feel how badly Regina was shaking now and Emma gave her shoulder a squeeze in the hopes to calm her a little.

A long moment later, Regina slowly started turning. Her eyes were still stinging with tears and her voice hitched when she spoke.

"You wrote that letter?"


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: My sister has accused me of dragging this story out, and I just want you to know that I am well aware I'm dragging and that I do it shamelessly. I have no regrets.**

**It's true that this December 24th is going on endlessly, but this ending has been cooking in my head for so long, that I find myself unable and unwilling to keep things short.**

**Also, I have no idea how to rate this story, but I changed the rating just to be safe. I'm not sure if I should warn you things will be taking a little bit of a darker turn as we go into Regina's past for a bit, so consider yourself warned.**

**I can't thank you guys enough for still being with me on this Christmas story, even though we're closer to New Year's now!**

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"_you wrote that letter?"_

Emma shrugged and smiled. It reminded Regina of the first time she had met Emma in front her house and asked her if she was Henry's birthmother. Except this time, Emma didn't say "Hi" to accompany the innocent shrug.

"I know it was a little forward to write that," Emma explained. "But it kinda happened when I sat down to write and I decided to take a leap and just give it to you."

Regina was speechless. She was still trying to process the fact that the words that had encouraged her to go to the stables had been Emma's. Emma had been the one to get her to face a fear she hadn't been able to face for a few decades.

More so, she was trying to process the fact that it didn't feel all that strange. The revelation that the letter had been Emma's didn't seem to upset her as much as she would've thought. It some way, it made sense. She couldn't think of anyone in this town who knew her better than Emma did. Even though she never shared much with the blonde, Emma seemed to sense things. Emma seemed to just understand without asking. It was in the looks they shared, in the comments she made and in the questions she didn't ask.

Somewhere deep down, Regina was touched that Emma cared enough to write her a letter. Although, she couldn't deny a big part of her felt a little played too.

"I guess I owe you an explanation and I should start at the beginning. You wanna go sit in my car for this? You look like you're slowly turning into an ice sculpture of yourself."

It was only when Emma had pointed it out that Regina noticed she was indeed starting to lose sense in her limbs rapidly now. She hadn't even bothered to button her coat in her haste to get to her son.

Curious about the rest of Emma's story she nodded and followed Emma to her car. It didn't matter that they had been closer to her own car. It didn't matter that she preferred her own car over this death trap. It mattered that she was inside now and that the heater seemed to work just fine.

Emma started with the night of the name drawing. She pulled a small slip of paper from her coat pocket and handed it to Regina, not explaining anything. Regina took it and unfolded it as fast as her numb fingers would allow.

_**Regina Mills**_

It was her own handwriting but she couldn't remember writing her name on a small piece of paper. She opened her mouth to point that out, but Emma beat her to it.

"Henry apparently cut it from a school slip he was supposed to turn in. He also made sure I was the one to get your slip. He left out his own name, so as not to draw any suspicion."

Regina looked back down at the slip in her hand, running a finger over her own name. Her son had done this for her. Her already watery eyes started welling up again. Her sweet boy had offered up his own gifts to give her hers.

"I didn't know," Emma continued. "Well, I didn't know at first. He let it slip one day. I assumed you entered on your own."

Emma took her time explaining the scheme Henry had set up. She also told Regina honestly about how she didn't have a clue what to do when she saw the name on her slip. She confessed that the coffees had been her doing and then described how she got the boy to deliver them.

Regina just stared. Her eyes were wide and heavy with tears as she kept them on the blonde's. Her brow furrowed and her lips were slightly parted as she hung on every word. It was a lot to take in. Several pieces fell into place with each thing Emma revealed. Her mind was in overdrive.

Emma talked about some ideas she had played around with before deciding against them. She recounted how Henry had mentioned time and time again that he wanted his other mother to be happy. The blonde tried to be as clear and detailed as possible, feeling like she owed Regina as much. Besides, Regina had had a lot of people lying to her in her life and she wasn't going to add another one to that list tonight.

"And then I came up with the idea of having you go to the stables."

Emma could hear the sharp intake of breath coming from the seat next to her.

"I knew it was a gamble. I had no idea if you would go, but I had to try. I know we've never been much for talking, Regina. But I meant what I said in that letter. You have that light. I've seen it."

She looked back at Regina, who was now facing forward. A single tear trickled down her cheek and Emma resisted the urge to wipe it away. What the hell, where did that urge come from? Emma told herself it was just because Regina looked so vulnerable, nothing more. She was lucky there was little time to dwell on anything right now.

"I didn't want to go."

The words were spoken so quietly Emma almost missed them. She watched as Regina swallowed hard before she spoke again.

"And I did."

Emma nodded slowly. Although to many it wouldn't make much sense, it did to Emma. Emma knew enough about the circumstances and Regina's background story to understand. The town hardly ever shut up about it.

"So you went," Emma concluded, at which it was Regina's turn to nod. Silence fell again. It wasn't very surprising that the brunette didn't elaborate any further. Emma didn't push it. It was enough that Regina had gone there. She didn't need to talk about it.

Snow was falling again and they watched the flakes descent for a while.

"So, why are we here? Surely you could've chosen a better place for this conversation? I never pegged you as theatrical." Regina's usual sarcastic self had somewhat returned, along with the feeling in her fingers and toes. It broke the tension a little and Emma was grateful for it.

"You have no idea, Regina, trust me, I am all for drama. I wanted to get a spotlight, but the school's Drama club wouldn't lend me one."

This time Emma's try for humor was well-received. Regina let out a soft chuckle.

"I wanted to meet you here," Emma went on, all business again, "because Secret Santas are supposed to give their last gifts on Christmas Eve. If you'll let me, of course."

Regina thought about this for a moment and then decided it couldn't hurt to see where this was going. She was already too exposed, too vulnerable, for her liking so there was no point in backing out now.

"That depends on what you have in mind."

Tell her straight up? Or don't tell her? Emma hadn't figured out this part of her plan. She thought she could improvise on the spot, but right now she wished she had her words at the ready. Would Regina go along if she kept the gift a secret just a little while longer? Should she just tell her now?

She decided she may have taken enough risks for one night and opted for the safest option. She reached back and grabbed a box from the backseat. With a little effort she managed to get it in Regina's lap without hitting either of them in the head with it.  
Regina hesitated for a second when her fingers found the lid, then she opened the box.

Her first instinct was to slam it shut again, shove it into Emma's lap, say "no", get out of the car and walk away. Her whole body tensed at the sight of the content and even if she decided to make a break for it, she wouldn't have been able to move. It would've been a random request for anyone, but to her it struck a chord deeper down.

She was spiraling fast now as Emma's suggested last gift triggered a lot of emotions she had so desperately tried to block out for decades. The feelings grabbed at her, trying to pull her under. Flashes of memories flickered through her mind in blinding speed and Regina sat helplessly with no choice but to watch them.

"Hey," Emma's hand reached for Regina's forearm, squeezing it until Regina finally met her gaze. Focusing on Emma's eyes was enough for Regina to snap back to the present. This woman, Regina noticed, not for the first time, seemed to possess an inexplicable power to calm her with just a look or a touch. Regina had yet to figure out how such a thing was possible, but right now she was just grateful Emma was here to keep her from drowning.

"Could you trust me one more time?"


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N Another warning. The story is still taking a bit of a darker turn as we delve into Regina's past some more.**

**I'd like to inform you I am pretty sure there will be only one more chapter after this one, followed by an epilogue. **

**I don't usually write with music playing, but I pause to listen to certain songs. I think "May I" by Trading Yesterday fits SwanQueen perfectly and I think it also suits them in this chapter (as well as in general in this fic). If you have the time, give it a listen!**

**Also, to the reviewer who keeps reviewing in French: Merci de ton report. Je suis heureuse que j'ai pris Francais au lycée.**

**Good thing we Dutch people learn all those languages in school, i guess ;)**

**Have a good New Year's Eve tonight!  
**

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Emma had no idea what she was asking, Regina thought to herself as she followed after the blonde.

Regina had nodded at Emma's question to trust her but now that she was making her way through a part of the snow covered woods she didn't recognize, she was having very serious second thoughts. She kept her eyes firmly at her own feet, as not to trip, and to avoid the glances the woman next to her kept shooting her way.

Emma had a bag slung over one shoulder and was holding the box she had offered to Regina in her hands. She kept making sure she didn't see too much regret on the brunette's face, although it was hard to tell with Regina keeping her head down.

The walk wasn't long. They had driven as far as the road allowed them, then covered the last few yards on foot. Regina noticed immediately the path was cleared for them. Emma must've been very thorough in her preparations. The realization sent a little warmth through her.

They reached what seemed to be a clearing and Emma halted her by holding out an arm and blocking her path. When she was sure Regina was staying put, she set down her bag and the box before taking a few long strides to the side. Although it was a clear night, a full moon shining brightly, Regina couldn't see what Emma was doing. She heard the fresh snow crunching under Emma's boots and then some shuffling and a click.

They were instantly engulfed in light. Regina could now clearly see it wasn't a clearing but a small, frozen pond she was facing. The ice was surrounded by strings of Christmas lights. Emma had spent the entire afternoon stringing them from tree to tree and wrapping them around trunks. A few lamps were strategically placed in a few places to light the ice properly.

Regina was rendered momentarily speechless by the sight. There was only one way to describe the stunning scene in front of her. One word she could think of, although even that didn't cover it. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

Her eyes followed the lights around the pond before they traveled to the ice itself. Emma had gone completely out of her way for this. For her.

By the time Regina was able to tear her eyes away from the view, Emma had already pulled her own skates from the bag and was sitting on a log, watching, waiting for Regina to move. Regina turned to her and slowly made her way over to take a seat next to the blonde.

The box reappeared in her lap, the lid already off. Regina looked at the figure skates Emma had gotten her. How the woman had known her size was the least of her worries right now. She looked at the white leather and the shining blades.

Regina bit her lip as her fingers traced the lining of the skate over and over again. She wasn't really seeing anything anymore. Her mind dragging her once again to a past she desperately tried to forget. She had to focus really hard to catch Emma's words when she broke the silence.

"Henry said he wanted to go ice skating with you, but couldn't. He said you never learned."

"Because that's what I told him," Regina whispered.

She remembered the night Henry had asked her. She had broken her promise of never lying to him again that night. But when it came to her troubled past, sometimes it was easier to tell a little white lie than to wake the slumbering demons in her mind. Now, as she looked out over the ice with skates in her lap, it was too late. Those demons were very much awake.

"What?" Emma was connecting the dots. "That wasn't true?"

"Not exactly," Regina admitted.

Emma wasn't sure if Regina would allow her to venture into these waters. As she watched the brunette's distant gaze, she wondered if she should try to get Regina to elaborate further. Well, she had come this far…

"If you can skate. Then why won't you teach Henry?"

They both knew Regina would normally teach Henry anything and everything if he asked. She would do anything for him. She had braved quite a few storms for him before, so if she was refusing now, she must have a good reason.

"I used to love ice skating. My father taught me when I was still a child. I have some very fond memories of that time." Regina's voice was soft as she started.

She had spent many hours skating back and forth on ponds near her house in the Enchanted Forest. Her feet would be blistered from the poor excuses they called skates back there, her fingers and toes completely numb and her lashes covered in ice, but they had to drag her from the ice every night fall. It didn't compare to horseback riding, but she had always enjoyed it very much in her youth.

"Of course, it was no activity for a lady and so my mother forbade me to go. She prohibited a lot of things. When I got engaged, the only way I realized I would ever find myself on the ice again, was if I took Snow with me. So I did. I taught your mother how to skate."

Emma was quiet. She had never heard her mother about this. She had gone ice skating with Mary Margaret before, but she never wondered where her mother had learned how to do it. She never even pictured how that would go down in the Enchanted Forest. It was too weird for her to think much about a realm she had only ever briefly visited.

Regina went on, although she didn't go into much detail. She spoke about having a surprisingly good time teaching Snow White how to skate. She even mentioned she'd always wanted to skate with Daniel. At the mention of his name, she took a moment to swallow away some tears, before she continued. However, the first time Emma heard Leopold's name was also the first time Regina was unable to keep the tears from escaping.

Don't let them see you cry. Tears are a sign of weakness. A sign that you didn't have your emotions in check. It was one of the rules imprinted in her brain for as long as she could remember. Her mother's voice still sounded in her head sometimes. She couldn't control or stop the watering of her eyes, much like she couldn't stop her hands from furiously wiping at her cheeks to erase the evidence of her display of weakness.

Emma watched the tears fall with what she hoped was a gentle, reassuring smile on her face. She was suppressing the urge to reach out for the woman. As she watched Regina's mask slip away and she caught a glimpse of the darkness Regina still kept behind it, she wished she could convince the brunette that she was okay. She wished she could just reach out and let Regina know that she was here for her. But she knew that reaching out now, could ruin everything. A hand on an arm could be enough for the mask to slip back into place. So she kept still and remained on her side of the log they shared and waited for the rest of Regina's story.

"Well, I'd rather not go into the details of my time with the King. I suppose you've heard enough to fill in the gaps yourself."

Regina kept silent, giving Emma an opportunity to deny her assumption. She wasn't exactly right in assuming Emma knew enough, but Emma still nodded.

This period of Regina's life wasn't something Emma had heard a lot about. There weren't many, if any, people who knew what happened inside the castle walls. Her mother had been too young and too oblivious to see what was going on, and she was the only one from inside the castle still alive and in Storybrooke, besides Regina.

"Well let's just say things weren't all sunshine and rainbows. After a while I grew desperate and sought out Rumpelstiltskin."

This was a part Emma was quite familiar with. The town never shut up about the Queen becoming Evil. She had heard many different versions of the Dark One teaming up with the Evil Queen from all over Storybrooke. Someday, she hoped to hear Regina's version. She would have to if she was ever going to find the truth among the bunch of tales. All of them were different, but somehow Emma had a feeling Regina's version would be most sincere. She would ask one day, just not this day.

"Rumple taught me most of what I know about magic. He was a successful teacher, albeit his ways were a little, say, extreme. He taught Dark magic in dark ways. Some things I turned out to be a natural in, once I devoted myself to it. I was able to conjure a fireball in my palm on my second try."

Now that didn't surprise Emma. She had seen the famous fireballs on multiple occasions. Sure, it was a little terrifying, especially when they were conjured for you specifically, but they were also looking quite awesome. It didn't seem to cost Regina much effort to conjure them.

"Fire has always been something quite natural to me. It takes a lot of emotion to create flames."

Regina's hands unconsciously made a fireball gesture without actually conjuring flames while she watched the lights in front of them. Emma noticed. She noticed a lot about Regina lately.

"Ice, on the other hand," Regina went on, "wasn't as easily done. It took a kind of indifference I was very unfamiliar with. Unless you are born with the gift of ice, it requires a lack of emotions to pull it off."

For a woman who would probably still be able to experience the entire emotional spectrum without having her heart in her chest, Emma could understand this would be difficult.

"Rumple made me freeze small bodies of water. He then made me walk on them, to see if I performed up to his standards. In the beginning, the thin layer of ice I was able to make couldn't support my weight. I went through time and time again before I finally succeeded. He made me teleport myself out of the water when I found myself going through the ice. You can imagine why I learned how to teleport rather quickly. Although I mastered healing frostbite before teleportation."

Emma knew Regina's past was bad, but these vivid examples still made her shudder. This sounded like abuse to her. Not a stranger to abuse herself, she recognized the similarities immediately. This time, she did reach out. She placed her hand Regina's forearm.

Regina looked up as Emma's gloved hand made contact with her arm. She met Emma's eyes with a watery smile. She had never told this to anyone before, she was never one to put her cards on the table. She had learned to keep everyone out of her business the hard way. But this time, she knew her information was in good hands. She knew Emma wouldn't try to hurt her with it. Yes, she was vulnerable, but for once, she didn't mind that much.

"Regina, I'm sorry. I didn't know. We don't have to go on the ice." Emma was leaving it up to Regina now. She didn't force her to go on there, nor did she tell her not to do it. She offered Regina the choice to do either one, and both options were okay.

Maybe a choice of words, a sentence phrased in this particular way, would be overlooked by many. But to Regina, it was that little nudge she needed to shake her head in the negative.

"I think we do."


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Okay, so I lied. There will be another chapter after this one. I swear I'm not purposely dragging this time. This chapter just got so long that it left me with no other choice than to split it.**

**Again, thank you guys for the support!**

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The first marks on the smooth frozen surface were Emma's. She glided effortlessly around the pond once, hopefully reassuring Regina a little that the ice was indeed thick enough to skate on. When it was clear that the ice didn't show the smallest of cracks, she circled back around to where Regina was still on the bank shifting nervously.

"Just so you know, I drilled the ice twice today. It's nearly 10 inches, so I could drive the bug on here and it still wouldn't give."

Regina gave her a tight smile. She wasn't exactly scared that Emma had led her to an ice covered pond unsafe for skating. It was the ice itself that made her weary. But she could do this, couldn't she? It had been so long. She also mastered the art of teleportation like no other now, so why were her feet not moving?

Emma stood there, watching how different emotions fought for dominance on Regina's face. Fear. Anger. Fear. Frustration. Fear. Emma raised her arm, holding out her hand palm up, offering it to Regina. The brunette's eyes darted to the hand, than up to Emma's eyes and back to the hand. Emma watched a flicker confusion pass on her face before determination pushed through.

Regina slipped her hand into Emma's, locked eyes with the blonde and stepped onto the ice.

Nothing happened for a moment. No one blinked, no one moved. The world didn't end. The ice didn't give. Regina's fears didn't swallow her whole.

The corners of Emma's mouth started to pull up into a wide smile. Regina returned it a little hesitantly with a smile of her own.

Emma could feel how Regina's hand stopped trembling in hers and now that she was sure Regina was okay and they were smiling, she noticed how close they stood together. There was maybe a foot between them now, since Emma hadn't moved back as Regina had stepped forward.  
It wasn't exactly the first time they were in each other's personal space like this, but it might just be the first time where one wasn't insulting the other. This was a completely different closeness. Emma was struck by how at ease she felt. God, this wasn't happening. Emma tried to blink the thoughts away as she skated backwards a little.

"After you," She said and gestured to the empty ice with her free hand.

Regina's eyes shot to their linked hands.

"O, right." Emma loosened her grip to let go of her. Very smooth, Swan. How was she going to lead the way with you still holding her hand? But when she was about to completely let go of Regina's hand, Regina tightened her own grip.

"Wait," Regina whispered. She wasn't quite ready to be on her own just yet. Emma didn't need any further encouragement to clasp her fingers firmly around the hand clutching hers once again.

It took some time to get the hang of it again after such a long time, but she managed. Slowly but surely, they made their way around the pond. It was going well, until Regina heard something that sounded all too much like the cracking of ice.

Her whole body went rigid and in a split second, her mind was back in the enchanted forest. The cold water she remembered well was engulfing her again and it made it impossible to breathe.

"Hey." Emma was now in front of her, one hand on Regina's upper arm and the other under Regina's chin to tilt it up to face her.

"Hey," Emma said again softly, trying to make eye contact. "You're okay. I don't know what that was but it wasn't the ice. You're okay."

Regina's eyes were wide with fear as she forced her attention back to the here and now. She wanted to believe Emma. She had to, but it was so damn hard to get air in her lungs when her chest wouldn't expand.

"You're okay, just breathe. You're okay." Emma kept repeating the words over and over, until some of the tension started to seep from Regina's muscles and she could see the small clouds of air indicating Regina was breathing regularly once again.

Emma took both of Regina's hands to pull her along as she skillfully skated backwards across the ice. Regina picked up on her pace after a few feet and together they found a slow rhythm to move across the pond once more.

Soon, Emma had completely let go of Regina and they were now going circles separately. The cracking sound wasn't heard again and they both started to feel a little at ease as they settled on a steady pace.

"How long did it take you to put up all these lights?" Regina wanted to know as a way of striking up a conversation. Now that she had calmed down, she was back to enjoying the magical display of what seemed like thousands of lights and she figured it was as good a topic as any to start.

Emma recognized the question as the end of the panic attack and she happily answered.

"Truth? The entire afternoon. I guess it could've been done faster, but I wanted it to look the best it could." She didn't add the "for you" out loud, although she added it in her mind. Somewhere along the way she had stopped wondering where these kind of thoughts came from.

"I can't believe the effort you put in, I must say it sure paid off. It's a breathtaking sight," Regina replied.

They chatted comfortably as they skated back and forth. A content feeling started to form in Emma's chest. This is nice, she thought. Hell, it was more than nice. This exceeded any expectations she had had for tonight. She had put a lot of thought and care into planning the evening, and as they were having fun just skating around, it dawned on Emma that she had actually done well. Reveling in the warmth created by the easy way they were interacting, she was mentally patting herself on the back for coming up with the perfect last gift. Entering this Secret Santa was the best thing she had done in a very long time.

Everything was going well. Then, they both moved to make another turn and Emma noticed how their arms brushed when they got close together. The contact made her arm tingle, despite the multiple layers of clothing separating her skin from Regina's. She wanted to do it again, just to see if the tingles would spread further, but she knew she shouldn't. She shouldn't ruin everything now. She shouldn't push her luck. The risk of setting them back was too great. So instead, she moved away. In an effort to put some distance between them, she sidestepped and it would've gone smoothly if it weren't for the small branch on the ice.

Emma hadn't seen it. She had been too distracted. She accidentally put her skate right on top of it, and before she realized what was happening, her foot was sliding from underneath her and she was falling.

"Emma!" Regina called out alarmed, and she shot her arm out to try and steady the falling woman beside her. She didn't get a good grip on the blonde's arm in time to stop her from tumbling to the ice. The fabric of Emma's coat slipped through her gloved fingers and she watched helplessly as Emma hit the ice hard, sliding across it on her side.

Regina tried, she really did, but the smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth couldn't be prevented. She glided over to where the blonde had ended up.

"And here I was under the impression you knew how to skate, given that you had planned on teaching me," she drawled, looking down at the disheveled form at her feet with an amused grin. Emma grumbled incoherently as she sat up.

"It seems I might just need to find a new teacher. Preferably a capable one, this time."

Emma brushed off the snow and ice shavings her jacket and jeans were now covered it.

"Good thing you're already majestic on the ice then," she countered. "At least I would help you up if you were the one that face planted."

Regina laughed heartily as she extended a hand to get Emma back on her feet. "Perhaps you're right. But I don't plan on finding out whether you speak the truth, or not."

For a second, Emma considered yanking Regina down when she reached up to grab the offered hand, but she decided against it. Instead, she allowed Regina to pull her back up to a standing position. A position dangerously close together again, Emma noticed. She didn't dare move and she just looked into the brown eyes that were so close. So close.

She felt something tug at some of her hair just below her shoulder and directed her gaze downwards to see Regina's fingers brushing through her blonde locks.

"Snow," Regina offered as an explanation when she saw Emma's questioning look.

"That's a first. I've never been mistaken for my mother before," Emma joked. "I'm not sure if I should be happy or offended."

"Offended," Regina answered firmly. "And just to be clear, you are nothing like your mother."

"I'm not? You can actually stand being around me then?"

"I meant, I never saw Snow fall so ungracefully on the ice while under my watch."

Emma tried her best to look insulted, but the urge to smile was too strong. Regina was making her smile a lot lately. If it didn't feel so damn good, she might've tried to stop it.

"And yes," Regina pushed on, ignoring the voice in her head telling her to stop. She felt like another confession couldn't hurt on a night like tonight. "I do quite enjoy your company."

She watched Emma carefully, to read her reaction. She watched emerald eyes grow wide at the revelation. She heard a sharp intake of breath. She felt a blush creep up on her own cheeks and she averted her eyes to make it go away. No such luck.

Emma didn't point it out, even though she sure did notice. She couldn't remember ever seeing Regina blush before. It was quite the look on her. It was a shame Regina was trying push it away as soon as it appeared, as she did with most of her emotions.

"Well, you're not so bad to be around yourself, Madam Mayor." With that comment to lighten the mood, Emma tried to resume skating. Better to skate again than to do or say something she might regret later.

Unfortunately, she didn't get very far. As soon as she put her weight on her right foot to kick off with her left, she felt a sharp pain shoot through her ankle. A yelp escaped her and she was about to fall down a second time when a hand grabbed her arm to keep her upright.

This time, Regina had been fast enough to prevent a fall. She took Emma's other arm with her free hand to make sure the blonde stayed on her feet.

"Are you okay?" She asked concerned.

"I'm fine. It's nothing." Emma frowned at her ankle as she tried to put some weight on it again, just to hop back on her left foot a second later. There was no way she could continue skating.

"You are not going to brush this off, Emma," Regina said sternly, her motherly instincts taking over. "I'm getting you off the ice."

Emma sputtered some weak protests, but she let Regina wrap an arm around her middle anyway. The brunette was right and they both knew it. Regina moved carefully, pulling Emma along, guiding them back to the bank where they had gotten on the ice.

"I'm fine. I can take them off myself!" Emma insisted when Regina crouched down in front where she was sitting to take off her skate for her. Regina ignored her, loosening the laces of the skate. Her own skates were already tugged neatly back into the box and she was wearing her own boots.

"I'm fi-" Emma went to say again, but the words died in her throat when Regina tried to pull the skate off of her foot. The color drained from her face and she had to clench her fists and press her lips together to keep from crying out.

"Not so fine after all, dear?" Regina looked up at a very pale Emma, who was still keeping her lips sealed. Regina focused her eyes back on the skate in her hands. This was going to hurt, but the skate had to come off for Regina to size up the injuries. She decided to try something she used to try with Henry, whenever she had to remove one of his Band-Aids. Distraction.

"Emma, did you leave your keys in the ignition? Because I believe I hear your car starting. Are those headlights?"

That was what she was going to say. Emma would whirl around to see what she was referring to, and it would give her the opportunity to slip the skate off Emma's foot. But as she directed her gaze back up to look at Emma once more, the words didn't quite make it out of her mouth. Despite the slightly pained expression, Emma looked absolutely stunning. Her cheeks were a little flushed either from cold or exertion, maybe a mix of both. Her hair fell over her shoulders in thick waves. Her emerald eyes lit up with a thousand stars as they reflected the lights that circled the pond.

Regina stared up at her. She stared longer than was probably acceptable, but Emma didn't say anything. Emma just stared back. Regina tried, she really did. She tried her best to keep the words in. This was in no way appropriate. She clawed at the words as she felt them roll of her tongue. She desperately tried to keep them in, but her lips had parted already, and her vocal chords had a will of their own.

"You look beautiful."


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N technically, I broke my promise of uploading every day, because it's a few minutes past midnight in my timezone. I figured all of you live by the rule of "it's not tomorrow until I've slept" like me, anyway, so I just thought it didn't matter that much. As a way of making it up to you, this chapter has about 4,5k words which makes it about three times a long as the regular chapter.**

**This is the final chapter of the story, which actually makes me surprisingly sad. HOWEVER(!) I have an idea for an epilogue, that I will write and add, so don't leave the story just yet!**

**I won't be able to write and upload it tomorrow, but I am confident that I will be able to have it up by the end of the weekend.**

**I would really, really love to hear what you guys think of this chapter, because it has been by far the toughest chapter (and maybe even the toughest thing) I've written to date. I hope that I didn't disappoint too much. This is also my first time trying to write actual romance.  
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**Enjoy this extra long chapter, and shoot me a review if you can find the time!**

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"_You look beautiful."  
_  
It was the distraction she was hoping for all right. Emma blinked a few times, being caught completely off guard by the unexpected compliment. Unfortunately it didn't just distract Emma, but Regina herself was momentarily paralyzed as well. At least she was able to recover before the blonde did. She got Emma's foot free in one pull. Emma winced in pain, but Regina's plan had worked. Emma had been too distracted to really be bothered by the motion.

Emma was still staring, perplexed. Had Regina really said that? Judging by the way Regina was now nervously trying to keep her head down, focusing on Emma's ankle to hide the way her face had turned a little red, Emma could assume she didn't just imagine hearing the words.

Regina had called her beautiful. Regina had called HER beautiful. It was almost funny. It was like the sun calling the moon bright. And this particular sun didn't even seem to notice her own brightness, and yet she was pointing out someone else's. in her own opinion, Emma didn't even shine half as bright. Emma would make her see. Emma would make her, whatever it took. Regina needed to see her own undeniable beauty. And not just the obvious physical beauty.

Emma waited for Regina to speak again and she realized maybe it was her turn to speak. The silence had dragged on for so long now, that it would be a little weird to thank Regina for her kind words now, wasn't it? Maybe she still could, and she was about to, when the brunette took her ankle in both hands and finally met Emma's gaze again.

The moment was gone. Regina was all business and worried looks again. So, Emma took the easy way out and asked something both of them could handle a little better than these crazy confessions.

"How bad is it?"

"That depends. How's this?" Regina asked as she pressed down on the knot on the inner part of her ankle.

The pain wasn't all too bad, and Emma told her so. Regina repeated the same with the knot on the outside of her ankle, and again the pain wasn't overwhelming.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Regina, I'm sure. I'm fine."

"I've heard that before, Emma. Right before you nearly took another tumble and you clearly weren't fine."

"Stop worrying so much. When you press either of those bones, it's not that bad. That's not where the source of the pain is."

Regina pursed her lips as she contemplated whether or not Emma was trying to downplay things again. Emma met her scrutinizing stare with her eyebrows raised in silent challenge. I dare you to tell me I'm lying, Emma's expression seemed to say. Regina didn't take her up on the challenge. Maybe she was telling the truth. She decided to try something else. She rotated the ankle, making Emma hiss at the searing pain. Perhaps the woman hadn't been bluffing after all. Regina was relieved to know that a lack of pain in both bones, very likely indicated nothing was broken.

"To the best of my knowledge," Regina concluded as she set the blonde's foot down gently, "I'd say it's just a bad sprain."

She scooped up some snow to press against Emma's ankle in the hopes of reducing some of the rapidly forming swelling. When she had covered the ankle to her own satisfaction she got up to take a seat next to Emma.

"Told you I was fine," Emma said with a cocky grin, bumping shoulders with the woman next to her.

The silence that followed wasn't awkward, it wasn't filled with tension. It was comfortable, it was companionable. Another new development between them, Emma thought. This truly was a night of new developments. Maybe Christmas held something magical after all.

Emma shifted a little, leaning forward to brush the snow off of her ankle. She had lost all sense in her foot by now. That was enough cooling for now, Emma decided. With a bit of effort, she managed to pull on her sock and even her boot slipped right on once she loosened the laces all the way. She was even able to keep her pained moans to a minimum.

When she straightened back up, she felt Regina's arm pressing against hers. Apparently she had unknowingly shifted toward the other woman, who hadn't moved, and their upper arms were now pressed together. Well, Emma wasn't going to complain now. Her arm tingled a little again at the contact. Now that she was sitting down when she felt the sensation travel up her arm and there was no falling or tripping hazard, she decided not to move away like she had last time.

Regina had no intention of moving either, it seemed. Or maybe it was just Emma who couldn't help but notice the sudden proximity. Regina did have a remarkably small personal space sometimes, Emma thought as she recalled the numerous times they had invaded each other's space in the past. She had witnessed Regina do the same to others and figured it might just not be such a big deal for the woman.

Emma couldn't know that she was very wrong. Regina noticed, oh did she notice. She was very much aware of every inch of the blonde that touched her. She was grateful for the warmth it provided, but she couldn't deny that it was just the blonde's body heat she felt. Being this close, touching, warmed her from the inside out.

Not many people were able to do that, not that many tried either. Henry obviously could. Daniel and her father had been able to once too. But that's where the list ended. Until now. Well, quite frankly, until a while ago. Regina was able to admit, at least to herself, that Emma had been able to stir something deep inside her for a while now.

It might be time to stop overthinking things that were probably just products of her own imagination. It was better to try and strike up conversation once more, than to keep listening to the thoughts in her mind that were rapidly spiraling out of control.

"So how exactly did you pull this off?" Regina asked with genuine interest. "You can't possibly tell me Mary Margaret allowed you to use her undoubtedly excessive collection of Christmas lights."

"Of course not," Emma waved her off. "If she had any spare string of lights, she surely would've found way to add them to the ridiculous amount of decorations already in the loft. Although I'm pretty sure that if she tried to plug anything else in, the whole town would likely experience a blackout."

Regina hadn't seen the decorations, but she knew Mary Margaret so it wasn't hard to imagine every available inch decorated with one thing or another. There was no denying the woman loved Christmas impossibly much. She started a town-wide Christmas tradition for crying out loud.

"I borrowed some of the strings and the regular lights from the school's Drama club." Emma pointed the lights out around the pond. "Ruby had a few strings to spare and the rest is Jefferson's. So is the power to light the bunch by the way. I found an impossibly long extension cord at the station, and it runs from over here to Jefferson's mansion, which is just out of sight right over there." Emma pointed in the general direction of the house.

Regina hadn't really known where in the woods they were, but as Emma pointed their location became a little clearer.

"He's still trying to make up for keeping Mary Margaret and me hostage. I could probably ask for anything and he'd do it. Or maybe we're starting to become friends through our kids. What do you say Regina, we should totally invite him to dinner someday!"

"Are you assuming you and I would share dinners regardless of the man joining us?" Regina asked with playful mockery in her voice.

There was nothing getting past this woman, was there? Emma wondered. This is why she should think twice before saying anything. But she wasn't going to back down now.

"Well, you ARE spending Christmas Eve with me," she reasoned.

"I seem to recall that wasn't by choice. I received an urgent text."

"You didn't have to stay, though," Emma pointed out, which made Regina falter a little before shrugging it off with a simple, "I couldn't let your preparations go to waste now could I?"

Emma laughed and even though she did come up with a good answer to that, she decided to let Regina get away with it.

"I wouldn't be opposed to having a family dinner some time," Regina confessed timidly after a beat of silence. "The idea of sharing the table with Jefferson, however, doesn't sound very appealing."

A family dinner. Emma could get behind that. Hell, she would love it! Spending more time with Regina and Henry sounded good to her. And having it include what was sure to be amazing food, wasn't so bad either. Let's face it, Emma loved a good meal. They were both lost in thought for a while as they each pictured family dinners.

It was because of their contact that Emma discovered that Regina was shivering. The vibrations traveled from the brunette's arm to her own snapping her out of her thoughts. Emma herself wasn't cold at all. She didn't get cold that easily. Which she still thanked God for, because she had spent her fair share of nights in unheated places.

Despite the violent shivering, Regina wasn't making any move to get up though. Apparently she'd rather stay on this log and freeze than ask Emma to take her home. The realization made Emma smile a little.

Regina watched Emma lean forward again, this time to retrieve the bag at her feet. She watched a hand disappear inside, only to reappear holding two of the most hideous Christmas mugs Regina had ever seen. Emma handed one to her, and she took it. When Emma made eye contact, she was met with a raised eyebrow and a questioning look.

"Yeah well, I figured you wouldn't want to drink from plastic cups. And Mary Margaret has traded every mug in the house with these ugly things for the holidays. I did try to find normal ones." Emma explained as she rolled her own cup between her hands.

"And if you were to drop one, I'll admit I wouldn't mind it that much. Particularly this one," She added while waving her mug around. The mug was white like Regina's, and it had small snowflakes drawn all over it. On one side, Regina read the words YOU'RE THE SPARKLE TO MY SNOWFLAKE and it made her nose scrunch a little.

Emma laughed at her reaction.

"Yeah, exactly. Mary Margaret has been making David use it all week." He would only use the mug whenever Mary Margaret was in the room, otherwise opting for one of the slightly less awful red ones.

"So if you could be so kind to nudge me unexpectedly, then I will very accidentally drop it. And maybe step on it. Just to be sure it's dead."

Regina looked at the one she was holding. It had a poorly drawn Santa on it, next to something that was probably supposed to be a reindeer, although it could pass for a goat too. She held it in both hands, to cover up the terrible image. It also limited the shaking as she still shivered in the cold.

The blonde dug around for the thermos she had packed next. She poured both of them a cup of steaming hot liquid. Regina wrapped her hands around the hot cup gratefully. She was getting quite cold.

"I never thought I'd say this but, man, am I glad Granny got me this thermos for my birthday. And man, am I glad I finally get to use it. Seems like it works pretty good."

Emma took a moment to watch the steam coming from the thermos before she screwed the lid back on. She tapped it's side as if saying thank you, and then placed the bottle back in her bag.

They both sipped their thick plastic cups, enjoying the warmth traveling down their throats and through their gloves.

"It's not as good as yours, but I'd say this is some good hot chocolate. Henry couldn't tell me your secret ingredient, so I added mine."

"Cinnamon?"

"Damn. Not so secret after all."

"It's quite evident, dear, for anyone with taste buds."

"Yeah, that's probably right," Emma chuckled and Regina joined in as they took small sips of their warm drinks.

"Chili powder."

"I'm not really into the food nicknames, Regina." The teasing was back, and it was good. Regina laughed and Emma just wanted to keep on joking just so the wonderful sound wouldn't have to stop.

"O, I am sure there's food nicknames you could get into." Was that a promise? Emma wondered. Because she'd love to hear her try to come up with something. "However, I wasn't referring to you. I was referring to my secret ingredient. I assumed you knew, since it's not hard to figure out."

"Once again pointing out my incapabilities, are we?"

Regina gave a cocky shrug as she brought her cup up to her lips once more. They both finished two cups of hot chocolate, just enjoying the taste and warmth quietly. Then Regina broke the silence.

"Emma," Regina's voice was just loud enough for her to hear. "I never-" Regina choked on the words a little. She looked down at her hands, fumbling in her lap, for a second before she tried again.

"I want to thank you," She whispered at her lap before she made herself look Emma in the eye. "For everything. The coffee. The skating. The letter. The stables." The last word was barely audible. Had Emma not been able to read her lips, she might've missed it.

"No one has ever done anything like this for me before. I don't know why you did it, but thank you."

"Regina," Emma answered firmly, determined to get through to the woman, "I don't know why you keep thinking you're not worth it. I told you in that letter, but apparently I need to say it again. You are. You are worth all of it. You deserve everything you want. There's a happy ending for you, Regina. There has to be. There's no way faith is going to let a stunning, amazing woman like your go to waste."

Well that was a little forward, Emma thought once the words had left her mouth. But it was also true. Everything she had just said was true. It was so sad to read the disbelief off of Regina's face. Though there was also a hint of a smile visible. That smile was exactly why Emma went on.

"Like I said, you're not bad company. In fact, I kinda really like spending time with you. I've figured out that that cold mask you keep showing is exactly that. A mask. I've seen behind it. Don't get me wrong, I like the sarcastic remarks and snarky comments as much as the next guy… or woman," that earned her a genuine chuckle from Regina, "I mean, who doesn't like to be called incapable or small-brained every now and then, but that's not all you are. Behind the façade, there's a very caring woman. And that woman deserves to be cared for. So no, I don't regret anything. I'm glad Henry conned me into being your Secret Santa. Because, damn it Regina, you're worth it."

There was a moment where nothing happened. Emma's eyes never leaving Regina's. It looked like there was quite a lot going on in those infinite brown pools of whirling emotions. It seemed like an eternity, but in reality it was only a few heartbeats of silence before Regina moved. A few heartbeats in which Regina had desperately tried to suppress her urges, but in the end her heart overpowered any and all thought.

In one swift motion, she closed the distance between them. She moved just slow enough for Emma to see her coming, but the realization of what was about to happen, momentarily froze her in place.

Regina didn't pause. She didn't give herself the time to change her mind. She didn't give Emma the time to reject her. If she had, she wouldn't have gone through with it. If she had and Emma would've turned away, there was no way she could recover.

So she didn't. Her hands cupped either side of the blonde's face as her lips crushed onto Emma's, and for a moment the blonde didn't move at all. The fear of still getting rejected overshadowed everything else. She convinced herself she had made a huge mistake almost the second their lips touched. She couldn't focus on how well their lips seemed to fit together. She couldn't reach through the fear to find out how good it felt to kiss Emma. If she had, she would've found that nothing had ever felt better.

Instead, Regina pulled away almost as abruptly as she had advanced just a moment before. This was a mistake. O gods, this was bad. What had she been thinking? Emma didn't want to kiss her. Of course she didn't. How could she be so stupid to think that perhaps she would? Mother had been right all along. From a very young age, Cora had told her never to follow her heart. The organ in her chest was too unreliable.

She tried to jerk back, letting her hands fall away from Emma's face, an apology already at the tip of her tongue. But as she drew away, Emma's arms encircled her waist, keeping her close. She didn't want to open her eyes. She didn't want to see the rejection etched in the blonde's features. She just wished to disappear. For a very brief moment, she considered just teleporting out of there. But that wasn't her. She didn't run. Especially not from Emma. She never had.

She had to do some damage control. She had to apologize. She had to make sure Emma didn't hate her now.

She opened her eyes, expecting disgust, rejection, anger, mockery, anything negative to be reflected on Emma's face. But there was none of it. There was an actual smile, and it confused Regina to no end. She still wanted to leave. Her mind was still screaming at her what a foolish person she was but not of that was to be found on Emma's face.

When she was just about to say something, a hand covered her mouth. Emma was still smiling, still holding her gaze. When Emma was sure she had effectively stopped the words from spilling out of Regina's mouth, she moved her hand away to trace her fingertips over Regina's jaw and cheekbone. She rested her hand against the woman's cheek and Regina unconsciously leaned into the touch.

This is where she'll tell me she wants to be just friends, Regina thought. Just when Regina had realized she did perhaps want to be more than friends, Emma surely would've realized the opposite. At least she was going to be let down gently. But then Emma did the unexpected. She leaned in.

This time, Regina was the one caught off guard, although it didn't take very long to recover enough to move. She lifted her hands back up to Emma's face, brushing over her cheeks before tangling her fingers in Emma's soft blonde locks to pull her impossibly closer.

Emma tightened her hold when she felt the fingers running through her hair. Their sitting position was slightly awkward, but Emma managed to pull their upper bodies flush together anyway.

Regina was getting lost in the sensations fast now. The cold was completely forgotten since there was an inferno raging in her chest, spreading heat to every inch of her body. The taste of Emma's lips was blocking her from making any coherent thoughts. There were just feelings now. Emma's body against hers. The hands that traced up and down her spine. The strands of hair between her fingers.

Emma quickly drowning in her own emotions as well. The kiss was deepened by one of them, although Emma couldn't tell by whom. Regina's perfume filled her nostrils and made her head swim pleasantly. Her heart was trying to beat its way out of her chest and it wouldn't surprise Emma if Regina could hear the thumping. Hell, she wouldn't be surprised if Jefferson could hear it right now. Not that she would've cared if he could.

There was no denying how foggy her brain had gotten, but there was one thing crystal clear in Regina's mind. It was the overpowering revelation of how right this was. Like she somehow belonged here in these arms. Regardless of whether she deserved it and regardless of whether this was what was expected of either of them. None of that mattered right now, not when she had Emma embracing her like this.

Emma was experiencing her own thought process. She hadn't dared to dream for them ending up like this tonight. She hadn't even allowed herself to think it until Regina had bridged the gap between them. Now that she did allow her brain to go there, she found that it was a place she had subconsciously visited many times over the past few months. She had been falling for this woman for a long time now. It had only taken this bold move to finally admit it to herself. She was in love with Regina Mills.

They broke apart simultaneously, gasping for air. They shared a long look before Regina leaned her forehead against Emma's and they both closed their eyes again. There were no words to fill the silence. Both minds were reeling with the promise this night held. The promise of a shared future. This was the point where both their lives could drastically change if they decided to take a chance on each other. None of the thoughts made it to their mouths and they just stayed like this for a while, sharing the air in the small space between them.

Then Regina pulled back, taking her hands out of the blonde's hair. She turned her body away a little, letting a hand rest on Emma's thigh and then leaned into the blonde's side to rest her head on Emma's shoulder. Emma smiled at the tender gesture and wrapped an arm tightly around Regina. She tilted her head to rest atop the brunette's.

If tonight was all they got, and if the spell would be broken the second Emma unplugged the stars she had strung to shine for them, then they were going to enjoy it while it lasted.

Their respective trains of thought were disrupted by the muffled sound of a cell phone, coming from Emma's jacket. Emma reluctantly moved to dig around in the many pockets of her jacket to find the source of the disturbance.

She pressed a few buttons, silencing the device and then put it back in her pocket.

"Something wrong?" Regina sounded a little worried.

"No," Emma reassured her, "I set the alarm. I thought you might've wanted to be home when my parents drop Henry off at your house." Then Emma's features turned into an adorable shy smile as she blushed a little and added, "I never thought I'd actually need the alarm."

Regina's eyes went wide at the mention of her son's name. "Henry," She whispered.

"Don't worry," Emma soothed her, although she herself was more than a little nervous about what was going to happen with the three of them now too. "One step at a time, okay?"

Regina was on her feet first, reaching down to help Emma stand up as well. They gathered their things, unplugged the lights and with an arm around Emma's middle, it wasn't too hard to make their way back to the bug. Emma was able to limp now, albeit very slowly.

Emma gave directions while Regina drove. She would worry about her own car in the morning. The walk to Toll bridge wasn't that far anyway.

Halfway back to town, Emma noticed how Regina's nerves started to build up more and more. She reached over to pry a white knuckled hand from the steering wheel. Regina allowed it. Emma laced their hands together, squeezing reassuringly. She shot the brunette her best reassuring look when she briefly made eye contact. It seemed to work well enough. Some of the tension seeped from both of them.

When they rounded a corner and caught sight of the dinner, it was clear that the Secret Santa party wasn't over yet. Granny's was still lit and the laughing crowd was visible through the windows.

Regina's foot lifted halfway off the gas pedal. Not quite stopping, but able to halt if Emma said the word.

"You want to go in?" Emma asked.

"I'm- I'm not sure," Regina admitted.

"Henry would be thrilled to know you survived."

"I suppose he would," Regina played along as she pulled up to the curb. "I also seem to remember you haven't received your own last gift."

Emma rolled her eyes at the mention of her own Secret Santa. "Please don't mention my Secret Santa ever again."

"I wonder what it is," Regina went on, "I highly doubt he could outdo the perfection of his last gift."

"Regina, do you really want to see me throw up in my own car?"

"No," Regina sighed, allowing a bit of truth to slip from the safety of her mind, "But mocking you is easier than acknowledging how terrified I am right now."

Emma turned in her seat to face Regina as best she could. "I know this is scary. But doesn't this feel good?" She gestures to their linked hands. "I can't be alone in thinking this feels right, can I? Because if I am, just tell me now. I will never bring it up again. Tell me now, so I can stop myself from falling for you any further than I already have."

"You're not," Regina began hoarsely. She cleared her throat and spoke a little clearer, "You're not alone. But we can't-"

"Why not?" Emma interrupted, her voice rising. "Why in the world not?! If this feels right to us, then screw the rest. No one gets to tell us what to feel. I think we can figure this out on our own as we go. I want to try, Regina. If you're willing, I would really really like to try this with you."

Regina considered this for a moment. Emma was so strong for admitting this. Why couldn't Regina do the same? Why couldn't she just let out that single three-letter-word to indicate her willingness? Yes, she could. Screw the thousand reasons filling her mind, telling her why she couldn't. Wasn't there only one question which answer mattered?

As if Emma had read her mind, the blonde voiced that exact question in a whisper. "What does your heart say?"

Regina took a moment to drown out everything her head was shouting so insistently, to focus on that tiny voice that was never given enough weight in her decisions. She listened and for once in her life, she let it speak.

"Yes."


	19. Epilogue

**A/N This is the final part of my story. It's called an epilogue but I may have disobeyed the rules a little. I'm not sure what would and what wouldn't qualify as an epilogue, so I'm just going to say that in advance.**

**Then, most importanty. I wanted to thank EVERYONE who bothered to read my story! All those who followed, all those who reviewed and all those who favorited, THANK YOU! The response to this story has exceeded my wildest expectations.**

**I can't say how much I've enjoyed writing this story. It is the very first full lenght story I have ever written, and I am happy with how it turned out.**

**(more notes on the bottom)**

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It had been a whole year since their night on the ice. The night that changed everything. The night that opened her life up to possibilities she had stopped hoping for when she was still a teenager.

A whole year, Regina reminisced as she lifted several lids off the pots simmering on the stove, a whole year had gone by since her world had been turned upside down. She stirred the stew a little to make sure it cooked evenly before making her way back to her cutting board to resume chopping up all kinds of vegetables.

Everything was planned to perfection, just the way Regina liked it best. Emma had been gracious enough to let her hold the reins and to accommodate her every request. Well, as best she could, of course. The woman was still a disaster in the kitchen, therefore, Regina had just banished her all together.

Emma's to do list consisted mainly of setting the table, entertaining Henry and keeping out of the way. Which suited her just fine today.

Regina moved swiftly through the kitchen, effortlessly making multiple dishes at once. She had started just before noon to be sure everything would be done by dinner.

That morning, Henry had been too excited to stay in bed for longer than absolutely required. He had come knocking on their door, yelling at them to get up at just after seven. He may be growing taller by the day and he may be rapidly on his way to become a teenager, but on Christmas Morning he was definitely still a child.  
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**Regina had already been awake, making mental lists and notes about everything she had to do today. Emma on the other hand had been startled awake by the sound. At first, she had looked a little disoriented, but then her eyes focused on Regina, who was watching her with an adoring smile, and all questions of where she was were wiped from her mind. She was right where she wanted to be. Right where she belonged.

Regina had made Henry sit down for breakfast before opening presents, knowing that he would want to play with his newly acquired video games the second he'd unwrapped them. Best to get something in his stomach before that, she had reasoned with Emma, who was also a little disappointed at not getting to open any presents yet.

Right now, standing in her kitchen, Regina was grateful that they had gotten up this early. At least she was sure she'd have all the food prepared in time for their guests arrivals. Guests. The idea of hosting dinners still required some getting used to. With the exception of Kathryn, she hadn't had all that many people over for recreational purposes over the past years.

She had just about finished the stuffing for the turkey, when Emma sauntered into the kitchen. Regina didn't hear her approaching, given that Emma was wearing her new fuzzy socks and Regina's head was near the exhaust hood. And Emma took the opportunity to surprise her.

She made her presence known by coming up behind the brunette and wrapping her arms around her waist. She placed her chin on Regina's shoulder to see over it. She hummed her appreciation at the sight of the delicious-looking bowl of stuffing.

Regina was startled a little at the touch, but quickly relaxed and leaned into her. It were those little displays of affection, that Regina was apparently never getting used to. A soft hand at the small of her back, a brush of a knuckle across her cheek, a whispered compliment, they all seemed so natural yet so foreign. Emma knew it was hard for her to accept her touch sometimes. She could still see the flickers of doubt in Regina's eyes. The way Regina wanted to shy away sometimes, even after a whole year she still didn't believe she deserved any of this attention. But every time Regina felt like she had to pull away, Emma just held on tighter. She wasn't going to let go. She had made a promise to herself a year ago, to make Regina see her own worth, and she wasn't about to break that promise.

"Did you get tired of being beaten by our preteen son?" Regina asked.

"Actually he kicked me out because I kept winning," Emma announced triumphantly. She drew back just enough to kiss that spot where Regina's neck connected with her shoulder and then she made her way to the fridge to get the juice carton.

"Anything around here I can help you with?"

"No thanks, dear. I like my supplies in the working state they are in."

"I never should've told you I broke a toaster or two. In my defense, I did manage to fix that last one!"

"There wouldn't have been any need to revive it if you hadn't broken it in the first place."

Emma scowled at her from over by the fridge, but it didn't faze Regina in the slightest. She was just about to lift the carton to her mouth when Regina shot her a warning look. Fine, she would get a glass.

Settled on one of the stools at the kitchen island with her glass, Emma watched Regina move confidently at the stove. She found herself staring at Regina a lot now that she didn't necessarily have to do it inconspicuously anymore.

She loved watching Regina focus so intently that everything else seemed to fade away. Cooking was one of those activities that seemed to relax the brunette very effectively. Emma knew it wasn't just the monotonous motions of slicing and dicing vegetables or the circular motions of stirring one thing or another. She had asked Regina once, why she liked it so much.

At first, Regina had been reluctant to share that piece of information, much like she was hesitant sharing any other personal details. But then she had just taken a deep breath and explained. It soothed her, because it was something she was good at. Something that didn't require much thought, which left her mind free to wonder elsewhere. Something to keep her hands busy as she tried to sort through her jumbling thoughts. Learning how to cook had been one of the first things she had picked up after landing herself in Storybrooke.

Along with cooking, cleaning was one of Regina's favorite things to do when she felt the walls closing in. Emma had had to physically pry the rubbing sponge from her hands a few times over the past months. Sure they had an amazing time together, but their growing relationship had come with a whole new array of worries and fears to deal with and it left Regina a little overwhelmed sometimes.

Emma was usually able to snap her out of it though. A few reassuring words, an 'I love you', a tender kiss and some distraction would typically do the trick.

Emma on her part needed some reminders sometimes as well. It was so weird to have an actual place to call home now. A family. Well, she'd had David and Mary Margaret before, and she loved them both dearly but that wasn't really the same. She had spent her entire life drifting, not belonging anywhere and lacking a home. But she had found it here, with Regina and Henry.

To walk into a house to be met with the smell of freshly baked apple pie. To have someone waiting for her after a tiring shift. Someone's cold feet pressed against her own warm legs in bed. Although that last thing wasn't always as appreciated, it was an entirely new experience for her.

She had very willingly moved in, once Regina had finally built up the courage to ask last February. But getting used to no longer being a guest in the mansion had taken a bit longer. Regina had purposely made her do a lot of homey things like shared breakfasts and movie nights to make her feel at home. She went out of her way to show Emma she was wanted and loved in their house. She had even allowed Emma to make up half of the grocery list, so there would be familiar things in the cupboards for her.

They both tried their best, and it worked. It worked very well, even. And then there was Henry of course. Henry had thought it to be odd at first for his two moms to be together. Like, _together_ together. But he had given it a bit of thought and it didn't seem that strange after all. He too recalled the tension that had always been between them. Those lingering looks starting the moment they met in front of the mansion that night. In the end, he had just embraced the fact that he had both his moms under the same roof now and he was as happy as he could be.

"I don't see why I can't help stuff the turkey, but I'm not complaining. Watching you do it is just as much fun."

Regina just smiled in reply, her hand up to her wrist in the bird. Emma was probably right in assuming nothing could go wrong with that, but she didn't want to risk it. With her clean hand, she set the oven to preheat, before grabbing another hand of stuffing to put inside the bird.

"Thank you for this," Emma said sincerely. "For having Christmas here and including my parents."

"You're welcome, dear," Regina answered. "I can't, however, make any promises."

"I know, but you'll try your best and that's all I ask." Regina hadn't warmed up to her mother enough to call them friends yet. Mary Margaret hadn't either. They had gotten to a point where they both accepted and respected the fact that the other was important to Emma, and they had had a few half pleasant exchanges, but nothing very groundbreaking yet. Emma was just glad they got along well enough to have a Christmas dinner together.

"Maybe we should agree on a code word you can use, so I'll know when you want me to kick them out," Emma joked.

"How about 'get out'? Or 'I want you gone now'?" Regina retorted dryly, which made Emma laugh a little nervously. Was Regina really just kidding? "Don't worry, I'll behave. I am sure I can survive a dinner with your parents."

The turkey only had a few more minutes left in the oven when the doorbell announced the arrival of their first guests.

"I'll get it!" Henry hollered from the living room.

Emma checked the table setting one more time, before following after Henry to greet whomever was at the door. She had done a good job, if she said so herself. Regina had praised her for her work, although she did push at a few plates and glasses to line them up a little better. It didn't bother Emma. She never really cared for things like this anyway.

"Hi Henry, Merry Christmas," Kathryn's voice sounded from the hallway. "Are your mothers still upstairs," she paused for a second, "helping each other get ready?"

Emma didn't need to see the accompanying knowing smirk on Kathryn's face. She could hear the innuendo in her voice loud and clear.

"One of them can hear you!" She called before rounding the corner to the foyer.

"So can the other," came Regina's scolding voice from the top of the stairs. Her heels clicked on the hardwood of the stairs and Emma couldn't help but turn her head to see her descend the steps.

Emma's eyes followed Regina down the stairs, the others completely forgotten as she took in the sight. Regina was clad in a tight black dress, that stopped just above the knee. She had red heels on, that seemed to match Emma's red dress perfectly. How could one person look so perfect? Her hair styled to perfection, but really was it ever anything but? She had touched up on her makeup and wore the small earrings Emma had given her that morning.

Regina's eyes found Emma's the second she was in sight and held their gaze as she glided down the stairs and then toward those emerald eyes that seemed to draw her in.

"You can pick your jaw up from the floor now, dear," she whispered as she wrapped an arm around Emma's waist.

"You look absolutely breathtaking," Emma said, as she actually sounded out of breath.

"You're not so bad yourself," Regina replied smoothly, kissing Emma on the cheek. Emma had worn one of the few dresses she owned today for the sole purpose of impressing Regina. She would, of course, deny any such claims if she were asked.

"Yes, you both look gorgeous. Now if you could stop undressing each other with your eyes for just one second and greet your guests of honor?"

Regina snapped her eyes to her friend, ready to berate her for using such language in front of their son, but she just caught Kathryn's hands covering Henry's ears before she dropped them. At least Henry hadn't heard. Kathryn looking as innocent as ever as she stepped around the boy and into the house. Regina embraced her and held her friend close just long enough to give her a fair warning.

"Are you sure you want to keep up with those comments tonight, Kath? I can assure you I can give you a run for your money. I wonder how your boyfriend looks with a deep blush on his handsome face."

She drew back with a challenging look on her face. She just loved to tease Kathryn about Frederick. Having followed through on her New Year's resolutions, Kathryn had actually signed up for yogalates. Apparently, the gossip hadn't been wrong in saying the teacher was hot. By the start of March, Kathryn and Frederick were officially together and Kathryn could finally stop pretending she was into any kind of exercise.

"I was just kidding, Madam Mayor. Lighten up," Kathryn still had the teasing tone to her voice, but her eyes flashed with a hint of fear at Regina's promise. She wasn't going to say anything tonight, that was for sure.

"Hey Kathryn," Emma greeted as she too received a hug. "Hey Frederick."

Frederick handed the bottle of wine they'd brought over and Emma went to put it away in the kitchen.

"Am I the first to arrive?" Kathryn asked no one in particular as she entered the living room. "Good, then I have a chance to have a drink before Mary Margaret arrives. Or two."

Kathryn wasn't mad about her being with David. She was never in love with him. But the fact that she had shared a bed with him for at least a few nights made for some awkwardness. Mostly, their personalities just didn't seem to match. Mary Margaret was a little too happy, a little too soft for her. And Kathryn was a little too direct for the other woman to handle. But they were civil.

The Charmings arrived a few minutes later, just around the time the oven beeped and the turkey was done. Regina was very pleased to see everything going according to her schedule.

Regina had outdone herself preparing this dinner. There were more dishes than Henry knew the names of, but he still had seconds and thirds of everything. To Emma's relief, there were no awkward silences throughout the entire thing. This year's annual Secret Santa was the talk of the night, which seemed to excite Mary Margaret to no extent. She was just refraining from actually clapping at the table. It was a good thing she was holding cutlery.

Since they had all, including Regina, participated this year they had something to talk about.

The town had warmed up to Regina over the past year. Seeing her out and about with Emma had done a lot for her reputation. She was no longer believed to have any bad intentions. The savior would never chose to be with anyone evil. It had taken some getting used to, but like Henry and a few others close to them, most had seen it coming from miles away. The undeniable chemistry they'd had since the start hadn't gone unnoticed, it turned out.

So with a little encouragement from both Emma and Henry, she had put her name in the bowl this year. None of them got anything noteworthy, but the process had been enjoyable all the same. They filled the time by recounting stories of almost getting caught while delivering presents and of their surprise when their own Secret Santas revealed themselves yesterday.

Emma's hand found Regina's under the table, and as their fingers laced together for a moment, their eyes met and the thought resounding in both their heads was exactly the same.

This was the best Christmas either of them had ever had.

There was no need take that back road this time. Regina knew where they were going this time. They parked behind Jefferson's house, and took the short route, following the power cord to the frozen pond they had first been to exactly 366 days ago.

Skates and thermos in their bags, they made their way to their special place. Henry running ahead. He knew the way better than either of them, since he had spent last winter skating there with Grace.

Regina looped her arm through Emma's as they watching him take off in front of them.

When they reached the ice, both in a firmly tied pair of skates, Emma held out her hand to help Regina onto it. She no longer needed it as an encouragement. She was not afraid of the ice anymore.

She still had haunting nightmares about those magic lessons among other things, but now that Emma's arms were there to assure her it was all okay now, she could overcome even those. While she was awake, her demons usually kept a very low profile nowadays.

She took the hand anyway, just because she could. They skated together. Now that Regina wasn't held back by bad flash backs anymore, she turned out to be an amazing ice skater. Where Emma mostly looked like a hockey player, she resembled a figure skater. Emma had the upper hand in speed, but Regina could glide backwards like a pro.

The three of them exhausted themselves just skating circles, playing tag and learning new tricks, jumps and turns. Emma could see them making a tradition out of this. The three of them, going ice skating. It seemed like the perfect ending for Christmas Day. Well, almost perfect anyway.

"Hey guys," Henry panted, skating to a stop in front of them. "Would it be okay if I went to wish Grace Merry Christmas?"

His eyes lingered a little longer on Emma's as he asked permission. If Regina even noticed, she didn't say anything.

"Yeah sure, kid," Emma responded airily as she returned his look.

"Wish Jefferson and her the same from us," Regina added.

Henry made his way off the ice, switching his skates for his shoes and rushed off into the darkness towards the house just concealed behind the trees.

"I wouldn't mind taking a break myself," Emma offered, gesturing to a log she and Henry had dragged to that exact spot three days ago. The log they had sat on a year ago had gone bad by now, so Emma found a new one to replace it with.

Regina nodded and lead the way to the bank where they had gotten on.

"Ice skating is pretty exhausting, isn't it?"

"If you keep challenging everyone to race you, I suppose it is."

"I'm really glad we're here again though."

They both sat down, close together on the log.

Regina reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind Emma's ear and sighed, "So am I."

Emma leaned in and kissed her. Regina's arms instantly wrapping around her neck when her hands found the brunette's hips.

This felt so familiar. Yet every kiss was new. Every kiss still made her whole body tingle. Every kiss still set her heart on fire. A single kiss could still wipe her mind clean of any thought. Emma knew this would never get old, but hopefully they would. Together.

If they were going to make this their own tradition, she might as well do it right. She got the hot cocoa from her bag, handing Regina a mug like she had back then. This mug, however, wasn't as ugly as the last one.

She poured them both a cup. Regina's eyebrows shot up when she tasted the chili powder.

"That's right," Emma grinned. "I remembered."

They finished their cups, savoring the warmth and the taste.

This was her moment. It was now or never. Well, not never, but it should be now.

She got off the log to untie her skates and slip her boots on again. Regina doing the same from a sitting position.

Emma dragged it out, pretending not to be able to get her laces untied for a while just to be sure Regina would be done first. And maybe she dragged it out a little longer, as nerves were starting to build.

When she finally zipped her second boot back up, Regina was already done and waiting for her to get up. But she didn't.

She looked up at the woman she had shared the best year of her life with. It was so easy, yet so hard sometimes. It was everything Emma could've wished for and more. **  
**  
"You look beautiful," Emma said softly. The same exact words Regina had said when their positions were reversed a year ago.

Regina's eyes twinkled as she too recognized the similarity.

"I love you," she responded in an equally soft tone.

"I love you more," Emma shot back, at which Regina just shook her head in denial.

Now or never, Swan. Now or never.

"Seriously, you are the most beautiful person I've ever met. You're so stunningly beautiful, I can hardly believe you'd willingly spent your time with me. But for some reason, you seem to want to be around me just as much as I around you. And we have something together. You and me. Something special, and something I don't ever want to give up. Waking up next to you every morning, is like waking from my dreams to find out reality is even better. Regina, you deserve the world. But unfortunately, I don't have the world to give."

Emma paused for a moment, to half unzip her jacket and slide her hand into the inside pocket. She retrieved a small box, holding it in her fist until the right moment. The only movement came from Regina's eyes as they followed Emma's hand. They were quickly filling with tears now as Regina realized where this speech was headed.

"What I can give you," She continued, "is MY world."

This was the point where her finger fumbled to pop the box open. It took a second to get it, with her fingers being so cold, but eventually she revealed the ring inside. It had a thin, silver band with one modest little diamond molded onto it. It shone brightly even with the minimum light, and Regina gasped at the sight.

"Regina," Emma rounded up the speech. She was talking through a very tight throat now as her own eyes were starting to swim with tears. "You've allowed me to get to know the person behind that mask. That person will never stop amazing me. And that is the person I would be incredibly, incredibly honored to marry. So, what do you say? Will you marry me?"

Regina felt like she had been hit by a truck. It wasn't completely unexpected, their relationship had gotten pretty serious over the past few months. Yet she had never allowed herself to think of marriage. She had had her marriage, and it was the worst time in her life.

She never thought she was going to marry again. But then again, she never thought she'd find love again either and here she was. But could she really go through with this? Villains didn't get happy endings, did they?

Emma deserved so much better. Emma deserved SOMEONE better. But if that were true, then why did this feel so right? Why was Emma here, holding a ring? This was all so confusing. Yet it was also crystal clear.

Just do what you did a year ago, she told herself. She had managed to do it more and more since then. Drown out the doubts and let your heart speak. Separate what you feel, from what you think you are supposed to feel.

She felt cold fingers on her hand and she made herself focus on Emma's face again. The gentleness in her features, the small smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth, the undeniable love in those green eyes. The need for an answer, any answer, written all over her face.

"Please get up," Regina said almost inaudibly. "I don't want anyone to kneel for me anymore."

"It's okay if you want to think about it," Emma sputtered, trying to keep the hurt from her voice as she got off her knees.

Regina rose with her, placing both hands on either side of Emma's face and brushing back the blonde hair.

"Yes, Emma Swan. I will marry you."

"You will?" Emma sounded genuinely surprised as she pulled Regina tightly against her.

"She will?" Henry yelled, as he just came running back down the forest path leading to Jefferson's. He had obviously been in on the proposal plan.

"Yes."

* * *

**To my giftee, skepticpotato, I hope I was able to make a gift you like.**

**Special thanks to my sister, who has spent many hours reading my story, correcting the stupid little errors I failed to see, who suggested a proposal for the epilogue and who's idea it was to make Henry orchestrate the drawing of Regina's name.**

**I have seen a comment or two asking me to write more, and I just wanted you to know that I would really love to! (Perhaps not with daily udates again)**

**I am also asking all of you to give me a prompt to work with, so I'll have a place to start. Coming up with a good idea is half the work, after all ;)**

**My tumblr username is the same as the one on here, and I can be found on twitter as "ashippersheart". I just thought it'd be easier to contact me on either one of those, although I'm sure I can figure out how my inbox on fanfiction works as well.**

**THANK YOU EVERYONE!**


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